#to how i wanna be are almost definitely going to be denied plus from my research phalloplasty just has too many risks

[yakisabajanai]

,,,

[cupidsarrcws]

fucking frat boy!patrick one night at one of the social mixers not knowing who he was <3

you weren’t apart of a sorority— your friend was and she practically begged you to come to one of the social mixers her sorority was throwing (one of her attempts of getting you to continue rush season).

you were in red dress, floor length and silky, with a champagne glass in your hand while you stood in the corner, watching as your friend talked with one of the frat guys who had wandered over to the two of you and dragged her away from the conversation.

that’s when patrick swooped in.

“i haven’t seen you around before, what sorority are you apart of?”

you looked around, almost confused as if he was talking to you or someone behind you. you blushed a bit when you realized no one was around, clearing your throat before speaking.

“uh, i’m not— i’m a plus one. for rachel,” you murmured, pointing out your friend who was giggling and talking across the room. “more like her keeper now, she told me not let her go home with any frat brothers so.”

this got a laugh out of patrick, which shouldn’t have set off the butterflies in your stomach but it did. you couldn’t deny that he was attractive either— he was wearing a light blue shirt, slightly unbuttoned to where you could see his star of david necklace, and slacks that made him seem taller than he actually was.

“i’d like to know the names of people before they start ogling me if that’s okay with you.”

his words pulled you out of your trance, your face flushing up in embarrassment as he chuckled at your demeanor. “i’m just joking with you, i enjoy the attention.”

“r-right,” you said before telling him your name, reaching out your hand for him to shake. he glances down at your hand before reaching forward, pushing a piece of your hand that had fallen behind your ear.

“i’m patrick, patrick zwieg.”

you don’t know how the conversation led to you being shoved up against the door of the broom closet, but all you could think of is how your legs were about to give out with how fast he was going.

“p-patrick,” you gasped, feeling his hand bunch up the front of your dress before placing his fingers over your clit, the groan he let out going straight into your ear.

“god, you’re so fucking wet,” he panted, driving his hips into yours at a pace where anyone who could walk outside could definitely hear what was going on. your soft moans and whimpers were only fueling him to go faster.

your back was arched against his, your face being smudged against the door as he pounded you into it. it was almost uncomfortable but hearing how his grunts went directly into your ear made the soreness you’d feel after worth it.

“f-fuck i’m close, i-im gonna cum!,” you whimpered loudly, feeling his other hand slap over your mouth.

“fuck— do it, cum all over my cock, wanna feel your tight fucking pussy squeeze around it,” he groaned. those words and the pressure from his fingers on your clit sent you right over the edge, feeling your whole body being covered in bliss.

you’re surprised that you didn’t collapse onto the floor with how much you were shaking, just babbling nonsense about how good he felt, thanking him for letting you cum on his cock— if you knew half of the shit you were saying, you’d die of embarrassment.

but patrick thought it was the hottest fucking thing he’s ever heard— immediately pulling out and cumming onto your ass.

you both panted heavily, bodies still close to one another as you recovered. you finally regained consciousness when you felt him wipe up his mess that he left on your body, turning your head to look at him.

you gulped softly, seeing his smirk as he got redressed. you looked around for your panties, furrowing your eyebrows when you couldn’t find them.

“i’ll give these back when the time comes,” he spoke, holding to your pair of black lacey panties in his hands, his smirk only growing wider when your face turned even more red.

he pulled you into a sloppy kiss, reveling in the soft moan he got from you before exiting the closet, leaving you with your thoughts.

“fuck me,” you muttered to yourself, leaving the broom closet just in time to run into your friend. her eyes were wide and her jaw was slightly gaped, causing you to look over yourself, thinking that your makeup was still smudged or that your hair was out of place.

“what?”

she didn’t give you any time to say anything else, grabbing your hand before taking you into the girls bathroom, making sure that no one else was in there.

“who were you with?”

your face heated up once again, gulping softly as you fidgeted with your hands. “look, i know what you said about fraternity guys but he was actually-“

your friend stopped you, holding up her hand. “i don’t care that you hooked up with a frat guy, i just care about who specifically.”

“his name was patrick, his name is zweig i think,” you shrugged, raising your eyebrows as your friend rubbed your face in frustration. “what is it rachel.”

“do you remember that guy that hooked up with tashi, my sorority president? how they dated for a while before it became a whole shit show? that he’s the biggest piece of shit and cannot be trusted?”

your stomach churned at where this was going. you heard about these stories from multiple people— hearing about how he slept with a lot of girls from the sorority, how he was an asshole— the whole spiel.

“that was patrick… and if im correct, that’s who walked out of the janitors closet a few minutes before you.”

fuck.

[devildomditzy]

Mammon SFW A-Z

🎂Happy birthday to my beautiful jpeg husband

🎂 I ain’t even gonna lie this is so rushed 😭 but I wanted to get something out for his birthday in time!

🎂 This is more so based off of OG game Mammon and not Nightbringer Mammon

🎂 SFW besides some cursing

🎂 A-Z template by tumblr user @/the-coldest-goodbye

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He has a very hard time showing affection in a public setting. Even in front of his brothers, he sometimes panics - getting all red in the face - which usually ends with him denying his feelings for you or outright insulting you (why would he want to be with a stupid human anyways?, etc.)

In private, he is the most annoying motherfucker you have to peel him off of you most days. Earlier into the relationship, it was shy touches mixed with blushing. Now that you’re comfortable with each other, you have 0 personal space. Because hey, what’s yours is his - and that includes your bubble, right MC?

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

We already know the answer to this one, as he was literally written in game to be the ‘best friend’ archetype. Mammon starts crass and rude, acting like you’re a bother and he’d rather be anywhere else but next to you. Your friendship starts once Lucifer assigns him to be your guardian. Though he acted like he hated it, Mammon quickly became fond of you. Now you’re his inseparable partner in crime.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

The minute you are home from RAD and you both have changed out of your uniforms, he’s pulling you into his room, on to his bed, and not letting go of you. Sometimes he doesn’t even wait for you to change. He’s clingy, okay! Why would you wanna be anywhere else but layin’ with him?

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Mammon already feels like you are. His home is the HOL, with his brothers. And now, his home includes you. It’s his ideal scenario.

Plus he doesn’t have to pay rent.

He can be good at both tasks if he actually applies himself, but only seems to do it if you specifically ask him to. If Lucifer asks him to cook or clean, the room still feels dirty and everything is burnt. You almost think he does it on purpose.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Listen-

He literally couldn’t.

Once you and Mammon are together, he can’t see a future without you. He can’t see his life without you.

If it was ever broken off, it would be a scenario where he means well, thinking you would be happier or safer, generally better off without him.

But he is greed and even the thought of it upsets him to no end.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

The boy cried watching Cinderella ofc he wants to get married! But he couldn’t imagine to whom until you came into his life. Something just clicked for him. You’re his best friend, his partner in crime, you’re his. I don’t think it would be quick, as a matter of fact he’s way too tsundere for that. But he’s sure once he’s ready, it’ll definitely be you.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

It depends! So we know he’s the second strongest, so in that regard if he wants to be he can be far from gentle. But when it comes to you and his brothers, he consciously trying to be softer. Emotionally? Boys a wreck. A huge softie. Please hold him.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Once again, please hold him. Even if he acts like he hates it sometimes, your hugs are something he looks forward to. When he feels awkward in public he’ll give you one of those weird barely touching you side hugs. But in private? Have fun trying to get him off you.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

So we know canonically when this happens (I believe it was around end of season one of the og game?) and we know he says it plenty after that. We don’t have an exact way to know how much time passes between episodes, but you can assume it took about a year as that was the end of MC’s exchange program originally.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Ooooooooh while he may not be like Levi embodying envy, when it comes to you he’s ridiculously jealous. He’s your ‘first’, remember? If it’s something that’s making him jealous relating to his brothers (i.e. hanging out with someone other than him), he’ll pretend he doesn’t care to the point of being a giant dick about it, inadvertently showing he actually does care a lot.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Honestly? Most of the time they’re timid and shy. He holds you in the highest regard, he adores you though he may not show it very well. You still make him blush like crazy and his stomach still stirs every time he looks at you.

Other times they’re possessive and passionate, he is the avatar of greed after all. But really, his style depends whether or not you take the lead.

His favorite place to get kissed is the neck/collarbone area

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Another one we canonically know! He’s great with them. He probably the most emotionally intelligent of his brothers and actually cares greatly about the things that matter to him. His brothers and you are everything to him, but that little girl back in the human realm that he takes care of? She means the world to him too. He’d be devastated if something happened to her. Meeting you, the thought of having your own child pops into his head every now and again, and it makes his heart melt. But whether or not you have children is something he leaves entirely up to you, not pressuring or pushing you about it. All in all, he’s a natural at taking care of them.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

If it’s a school day, most the times Lucifer forces you both to sleep separately in your own rooms. He’ll knock on your door at the same time everyday to walk you down to breakfast with the others, and then off to school. It’s very routine.

If it’s a lazy day, or a weekend, he’s clingy. Have fun trying to get him out of bed, and if he has anything to say about it, you won’t be doing anything productive either.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

School nights are spent having to be separated most of the time per Lucifer’s rules which Mammon says are ‘totally unfair’ and ‘dumb’ and whatever other negative thing he can think of. But he’s going to call you. Relentlessly even, if you don’t pick up right away. He’ll talk your ear off into the night until one of you falls asleep on the other line of the phone.

Weekend nights are spent out on the town, he wants to go to places like casinos and The Fall, so if you let him drag you along too, he’s elated.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Since he puts up such a front with his feelings, it’s hard for him to get really mushy or personal. Once he begins to trust you more (and fall for you) the speed at which he tells you everything quickens, and he becomes an open book.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He seems to be easily angered by his brothers teasing him, but knowing him as well as you do, you can tell he’s never really actually mad at them. He could never be. The only time you’ll see him actually get mad is if something happens to you or one of them.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He’ll pretend like he doesn’t remember every single little detail you’ve told him, but mentally he’s taking notes every time you open your mouth. He hangs off your every word, so he knows things ranging from general facts about you to your most deep, personal secrets. And he won’t forget a single word (even if he may act like he did)

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Mammon’s favorite moment in your relationship was your first trip to Devil’s Coast together. He’s honestly not even sure if you considered that a date, since you were actively looking for Lucifer and Diavolo, but he certainly does. No. 3’s commentary didn’t help at all. He gets embarrassed when he thinks about it, but he loves it all the same. He keeps the picture you took together in his wallet.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He was literally assigned to essentially be your own demon bodyguard, so yes, he’s very protective of you. At first it was because it was an obligation, then it was because he was intrigued with you, and it quickly morphed into because he’s in love with you.

He’s shocked anytime you stand up for him or defend him in anyway. He’s not used to his brothers defending him in conversations, and is surprised to see you do it. Honestly, he feels like he doesn’t deserve it because of how much he looks down on himself. And you’re this tiny human stepping up to the plate, sometimes risking your life for him? Honestly he finds it hot.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

The most try hard that ever tried hard. Even if he tries to pretend what he’s doing for you is a favor, or the gift he got you was nothing special, it’s always something ridiculously couriered to you and your tastes, or something you physically said you wanted out loud. You could have said you wanted something three months ago. A year ago even. But he’ll always remember and always make sure you get it one way or another.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He’s literally the avatar of greed, so obviously there’s that. He can lose control sometimes when it comes to grim, or his obsession with both his belongings and with you.

But, I think Mammon’s worst bad habit is how negatively he thinks about himself. You’ll always need to check in on him from time to time to make sure he’s not spiraling in his mind. But when he does, you’re the best person to pull him out of it.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s concerned to a degree being a model and all, but definitely nowhere near Asmo standards of vanity. He’s the kind of person who always looks good without trying. The most effort he’ll put into anything is his outfits, especially if it’s an outfit he’s wearing to go out with you. Besides that, he’s not too concerned.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

His world would shatter.

Now that he’s met you, and now that he’s almost lost you countless of times, he could never ever see a future for himself that doesn’t have you in it.

He doesn’t want any future without you in it.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He goes through your things. With good intentions of course!!! Why would you think anything else??

Okay maybe at first it was to sell your stuff. But now that he’s with you, he only does it to see what you’re into at the moment so he can gauge the best gift he can get for you, or what date he can take you out to.

He lives for the sparkle in your eye that you get when he does that kind of stuff, so while not an amazing thing to do, his looking is not malicious.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn’t like people who are assholes for no reason. Sure, he can see why someone would act aggressively if he knows the why they are, but if they’re just doing it to do it or for some self serving reason, he dislikes them.

And though he is a model, he also doesn’t like people who are too full of themselves. He’s already got an Asmo at home, why would he need another one of em’?

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He is terrible at falling asleep.

And even worse at waking up.

He becomes accustomed to staying out late or just talking to you late into the night, so his sleep cycle is horrendous.

Once he does fall asleep, have fun trying to wake him up. We all know how great that went for Levi when he was trying to get his figure back :)

[luv3rx]

" Patience "

─ LEE TAEYONG X F!READER ♡

─ Taeyong fucks you after getting distracted by you while working on his mini album˚◞♡

─ 1.7k words

─ Smut, dom!Tae, Sub!reader, artist bf!Tae, praises, pet names(Baby and princess), choking, slight rough sex, slight breeding kink?, Unprotected sex.

─ A/n: IM DEFINITELY HAVING THS ALBUM ON REPEAT. ITS LITERALLY SO FIRE. Plus the concept photos literally have me on my knees for this man. Maybe This is just a little drabble. I was writing this at 3-4 am so I was tired asf. this is my first ever smut so please tell me if I did well or better. I enjoy feedback.

Taeyong 🔛🔝

Taeyong was really hyped about his new album. that's all he would talk about. He would constantly show the lyrics he worked on or would let you listen to the beats.

He would take you with him to every concept photoshoot and let you take some pictures of your own. He enjoys when you show support of his passion and excitement. He always tells your support makes him want to work harder and push himself as far as he can.

Of course he does try and make time for you in between. He wouldn't want to ever leave you out. You were the only thing keeping him moving and giving him motivation.

You were his antidote to keep him pushing and you were all the feedback he needed. No one else's opinion mattered except yours. If you liked it he would continue and if you find like it he would instantly scrap it.

He would constantly insist in using your voice for ad-libs but you would always deny and say you wouldn't want to hear your voice in a song when you already hear it enough. He was very upset about it but did didn't want to push you so he just decided to pay someone else to do itm

︶︶︶︶︶︶

“Babyyy! How much longer are you gonna work?! Im bored..” You complained sitting in the lounge chair behind Taeyong in his studio as he was working on another one of his songs for his album.

He was instinctively focused. He hadn't looked away from his computer screen yet. He could hear you whining behind him from one ear being uncovered by the headphones he wore on his head.

“Im almost finished. Just maybe a few more things I have to do. Be patient for me, baby.” He pleaded because your whining was making him want to just quit was doing and go to you but this album was something he had been striving for awhile now. He needed to get it finished, now or never.

“But it feels like we've been in here for hours and I need you..!” you whine even louder stretching yourself out on the lounge chair. You layed your head on the arm of the chair and groaned as he ignored you.

You sit up and watch him glare at you through the glass of the studio mic room. You glare right back him and roll your eyes. You would have been on your phone but he told you to leave it home so you could watch him work and motivate him but that backfired. You sigh heavily and decide to leave. You picked up your shoulder bag and heading towards studio door but the call of your name from Taeyong cause you to turn back around.

“Baby don't leave yet.. I need you.. I can't focus without you..” he implied as he finally removes his focus from the computer and towards you. He fully removed the headphones on his head. He put on his best begging face. He deep down did need you to focus but he also wanted you to just be near him.

“Well your more focused on that stupid computer. i think you need it more than me.. but I guess I'll stay.” You pout and sigh as you walk back over to the lounge chair but Taeyong calls out to you again.

“Dont say that ever and No, don't sit there. C'mere and sit on my lap, since you need me so bad.” He backs his up his chair and pats his lap for to come sit. He was in desperate need to be close to you right now. He was more desperate to be finished and be able to be with you too but he didn't wanna rush. This was an important project for him.

You hesitantly sat on his lap and he instantly wrapped his arms around your waist and held you for a bit. He took in the scent of your perfume and groaned.

“You always smell so good baby. Your making me crave you more.” He whined burying his face in the crook of your neck. His hands held on to your waist as he continued to take in your perfumes scent. He would be lying straight through his teeth if he'd say that this wasn't slightly turning him on.

He was finally able to push away his dirty thoughts and instantly got back to work. You on the other hand was needy for him to touch you and fuck so you decide to tease his a bit. You would slightly just rub yourself against him, to hopefully distract him.

You were slightly shifting on his lap and eyed even his slight movements. Taeyong was clearly unaware of what was going on your head but when you began to rub against he felt his breathe hitch in his throat. His hands stopped moving along his computer. His whole body pretty much came to a halt.

He tried to hold back any lewd sounds that was tempted to slip out. His breathes were shallow as he tried to keep himself focus and ignore any sexual frustration that was getting pent up right now.

“Y/n. Stop and sit still for me. Your driving me crazy right now..” He hissed. Both of his hands instantly went to hold your hips, his nails digging harshly into your hips. He head was hidden in the crook of your neck. You could feel his warm breath against your neck.

“But, Tae.. I need you baby.. really bad..” You whined. Rocking down against him again. His nails dug deeper into your hips as he breathes became more shallow. That's when you felt it. His hardened dick was poking against your covered cunt. He smirked at your sudden mood change when you felt him against you.

“Why so quiet now, baby? You were very vocal about how you wanted me so bad. I'll give you just what you want.” He started kissing your neck and grinding against you. He was mesmerized by the moans and whimpers that left you. It only made him want you more. He was quick to slide his hands up your skirt and rub your inner thigh, he wanted to tease you and make you beg for it.

His hand went higher up your inner thigh just close enough to your cunt. He looked up at you with his lustful gaze. He needed you badly and this was making his just as needy as you. 'Fuck it.' he thought to himself before pushing your panties to the sides and sliding 2 fingers between your folds, collecting your slick. He hummed and sucked your slick in his fingers, groaning.

“I would let you sit on my face but fuckk I'm absolutely do needy to feel that pussy around my cock.” He backs up his chair and makes you stand as he slides down his shorts. His dick immediately springs out from him not wearing boxers. He hissed from the feeling of his dick finally being free from it's containment. He stroked his dick a few times before motioning for you to cmere. He made you hover just above his dick and looked up at you with a big dough eyes.

“Tae please just fuck me..!” You whined slightly sinking down on his dick. You didn't really have to tell him twice. He instantly slammed himself into you. He didn't even give you enough time to adjust as he was instantly fucking in n out of you. He had wrapped his arms around your waist and had his face buried between your chest.

You bounced against him trying to match his utterly fast thrust but failed miserably as he was fucking you like an wolf in heat. He was drowning in your moans, Turning him on more. He was completely ignoring your pleas for him to slow down. He was to lost in his own thoughts and he wasn't gonna stop until your leaking with his cum.

“T-Tae, I'm gonna cum! Don't stop..” You begged. He instantly stopped and pulled out of you. You whined at the feeling of your orgasm being denied and the feeling of being empty.

“What are you-” “Just changing positions, princess.”. He replied after cutting you off. He picked you up and brought you over to the lounge chair and layed you out on your bag with you legs spread. He instantly slipped back into you and started pounding into you once again. He wrapped his hand around you neck while the other held your thigh. He couldn't help but lean down and kiss you harshly. Your lips plump and soft against his.

He pulled away from the kiss and lightly squeezed tighter around your throat. He watched as his dick slipped in n out of your cunt. He smirked when he watched your eyes in the back of your head, clearly fucked out from the way he was destroying your cunt right now. His dick was hitting your cervix repeatedly from this angle.

“C-cum.. I'm gonna cum..!” was all you were able to muster out before you released along his dick. You were completely out of it. Taeyong smirked to himself, proud that he was able to fuck you out of your mind like this. His pace didn't seize just yet. He slipped out of you and quickly slipped himself back in.

You were an total wreck under him from the overstimulation. his pace slightly seized as he felt himself about to cum. He pumped in n out of you a few more times before he felt himself release his seed inside you. He let himself sit inside for a little bit before pulling out quickly and pulling your panties back over to cover your cunt. Even tho it was an amazing sight to watch is seed drip out of you but he wanted your cunt to savor it.

He fixed himself back up and sit on the couch next to you. He knew you were completely out of it and had fallen asleep so he pulled you back into his lap and held you. He wrapped his coat over your shoulders and held you close.

He had completely forgotten about the song he was working on. He was to deep in thought and to focused on you. He didn't want to wake you so he decided to head home later in the morning.

He just sat there and held you. He kissed your cheek before dozing off along with you..

꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱

[eluxcastar]

hello hello greetings! could i request a vampire reader x harbingers who offers to turn them into a vampire as well (how romantic to offer the concept of *forever* to their lover), its got the whole package of night vision/ immortality/ super strength/ speed/ etc etc but they'd lose the ability to use visions/delusions cause they're technically gonna be "dead" would the harbingers except or decline 👀👀 (excluding pulcinella and pierro)

Harbingers with a Vampire s/o

── ୨୧：harbingers x reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: just me being absolutely off my head again talking about the harbingers' opinions on vampirehood

୨୧﹑content :: gn reader, vampire reader

୨୧﹑words :: I shit you not this post is 666 words long what in the My Immortal

anon baby you found my weak spot I'm so normal about this subject (it's my special interest) (sorry) ANYWAY this has been chilling in my inbox for ages, so it's time I finally write it. I started it a while ago but then I got busy and didn't post for a month and now I am suddenly two followers away from 400 so hi hello thank you

anyway back to the request I question the visions and delusions part because Qiqi is a Zombie an uses a cryo vision BUT I'M GONNA GLOSS OVER THAT BECAUSE YEs

Let's go lowest to highest in ranking like I usually do and start with Childe who, imo, would accept on the grounds that it is power and he will take anything to become more powerful even at a detriment to his health and physical condition. Though there is a price, he has accepted prices before and assuming that the pay off is good enough the use of a vision or delusion would be obsolete anyway. That, coupled with his love for you as his motivation is more than enough to sway him in your favour as he can see more to gain than lose from spending eternity by your side.

Arlecchino is a tough one because I can totally see it and it's really hot but Idk if she would. I wanna say yes, but I can also see reasons for no. The Vampire Arlecchino energy wins though because tbh I can see her being willing to make that sacrifice for her lover. I don't see her as fully whipped per se but like she's definitely loyal yk, probably pick you over the Tsaritsa and would want to spend an eternity with you at your behest.

Next is Pantalone. Cool vampire vibes. Someone gave me this wonderful headcanon that he is obsessed with his delusion, and I now love it to death so much that I based a character on it. So tbh yeah, there's benefits in this for him. He gets to be with you and have a little more power at a far lesser detriment. Plus like, you can't convince me this man wouldn't be lowkey into it.

Signora, I'm not sure. She has already lived a long time, and she has a lot of natural power already. Her delusion is what balances her, so I honestly think I'd have to say no. I WANNA SAY YES REALLY BAD BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE THERE'S OPPORTUNITY THERE, but I also just don't think so, but like she'll still be with you for a long time.

Sandrone, I honestly don't know either, because I don't know much from the two words she's spoken. If I remember, she doesn't care for other people, though, so she's likely very in love with anyone who managed to break through that and may be willing to make sacrifices for you.

For Scaramouche- well, bro is an artificial human, so tbh, I don't even think he would be affected by that. I'll skip him too.

Next would be Pulcinella, but I was told no Pulcinella, so Capitano (I almost forgot him send help). I like the abyssal creature Capitano headcanon, but even if he was just, a guy. I think the answer is no. HE'S WHIPPED AND WOULD DO ANYTHING BUT NOT THIS 😭 at least not at first, but give it a while and I can see it. It'll take time, though.

Columbina is also tricky because she has such entity vibes, but like also, seraph/vampire pairing would be so hot I can't even deny that. I should write that. Anyway, I feel like she's already immortal, so that doesn't matter, and she is indifferent to the power you offer. It's a matter of it not holding value. She has everything she could get out of it already.

Finally, we come to Dottore. Dottore is into it, don't lie, you know he is; this man is freaky. He'd enjoy the prospect of being a Vampire more than the perks of it, and that's enough to convince him. Besides it's 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓼𝓬𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓮 so he gets to excuse it. He couldn't turn it down even if it was just one of his segments because he's got to know what it's like and all the differences. He collects knowledge.

This was way more chaotic than usual 💀 Idk if I will write more like this but I did enjoy it so maybe, depends if y'all like this or my other styles more. I just like the chilled out casual chaos sometimes so lmk

[xreaderbooks]

Paradise on Earth (16)

Chapter: 16. My Druthers

Pair: JJ Maybank x Routledge! Reader

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: Language, Violence, Mentions of death

Summary: Y/n and Sarah make it back to the right side of the island after a long night, Limberey hands over the tape that will give John B his freedom.

A/N: The trauma continues...let me know your thoughts, does anyone wanna be tagged?

Available on Wattpad and AO3

Chapter 15 - Series Masterlist - Navigation - Chapter 17

You weren’t home, you knew it before you opened your eyes. The air smelt cleaner and felt fresher. The only time you felt that unfamiliar feeling was when you were living in Tannyhill, your heart pounded through your ears as you woke with a start. Not Tannyhill- this place was completely new to you.

Your eyes launched around the room in search of something you could recognize that would tell you where you are. Straight across from you on a bamboo couch similar to yours was Sarah. She was still out cold with a white fluffy blanket covering her and pillows surrounding her. Topper had walked in with two trays, both with orange juice and breakfast.

“Morning,” He smiled at you and you couldn’t process the kindness in his tone. You accepted the tray he handed to you with an awkward smile of your own and observed as Sarah stirred from her sleep.

Now that you were alert you popped a grape into your mouth as you thought of what you would have to do to get back to the cut.

Like you, Sarah looked at her surroundings and paused as she locked eyes with you, you shrugged as you took a bite of the toast on your plate. While you were anxious to go get back to the Pogues, you weren’t going to deny a good breakfast. Your stomach growled as you fed it, you couldn’t remember the last time you ate.

“Hey,” Topper greeted her softly. “How are you feeling?”

“What time is it?” She asked.

“I don’t know,” He confessed. “Why?”

“We need to go,” She made a move to get up and you were ready to follow her lead but he protested.

He handed her the tray insisting she was safe. “You’re not going out there where your brother almost killed you. You’re safe here, just have a little food.”

You squinted at him, “You gonna hold us hostage here, Topper?”

“You’re free to go Y/n,” He gave you the same fake smile. “I’m more concerned about Sarah."

“What’s all this gonna cost me?” If you didn’t know any better you would think this was all an act. He might have saved you last night but the hospitality he extended to you was for show.

“That’s the thing with your Pogues isn’t it, always thinking someone's out to get you, I’m just tryna be a good guy here and show you what it is to be a decent hospitable human being. Seems like you guys don’t do that much out there on the cut.”

You groan and gave Sarah a disbelieving look, “Girl, you seriously went out with this guy?”

“Y/n,” She gestured with her eyes as a warning. You were both on his side of the island and he did bring you to whatever this place was, probably one of his many beach houses, and brought you both breakfast.

“Look, I appreciate all that you’re doing here but if you’re gonna come at me later bringing up all the ‘nice things’ that you did-”

He cut you off, “You’re with Sarah- for now at least- plus you almost died last night, it’s the least I can do besides the fact that I saved you last night.”

Topper was definitely going to hold it against you at a later date but the damage was done. He appeared to be satisfied with himself as he continued to dote on Sarah.

“Here’s a phone,” He handed to her a brand new sleek black iPhone. “So you can get a hold of me and I can get a hold of you, I just wanna make sure you’re safe.”

Sarah held the phone in her hands, admiring it. “Thank you, I haven’t had a phone since the storm.”

You sipped on your orange juice as you watched the exchange. Topper could clearly not express enough- how much he was still into her. He held her hand as he told her how worried he was and how glad he was to see her alive. A moment of silence between them had you clearing your throat to destroy the tension, there would be none of that in your presence.

You successfully brought him out of his daze as he rose from his spot on the foot of Sarah’s makeshift bed and said he was going to prepare his boat. Thankfully that meant you and Sarah didn’t have to form a whole escape plan to leave wherever you were in Figure eight.

Sarah watched as he left and you watched her in concern. You hoped that wouldn’t be a problem while John B is stuck in jail.

-

You could not be more anxious to get back to your people. There were too many things running through your head. Was JJ successful in John B’s breakout? Did he fail and end up in a cell right next to him? How was John B holding up? What were you going to do next? Rafe could have killed you last night.

You swear you were going crazy and if you heard Topper say one more cheesy line in an attempt to woo Sarah back, you were going to scream. Eventually, on the boat ride back to the Chateau all your witty remarks had withered away.

Normally humor was your go-to coping mechanism but it was a flop in this crowd. Jokes you knew would have killed with the Pogues, all wasted on Topper, you knew he thought they were funny but he was too prideful to laugh. Sarah would chuckle along with you but it was undeniable, this was a weird trio to be in and the energy just isn’t the same.

You were about to sigh for what would be your fifth time, but as you got closer to your destination you recognized four familiar heads of hair. You jumped out of your seat, “Is that John B?”

Sarah rushed forward, “John B!”

“You’re out!” You hop out of Topper boat and into the HMS, wrapping your arms around John B for a hug. “JJ you got him out!”

You smiled wide at the blond who you doubted with every second of his plan but he did it and you could not be happier. You tackle JJ in a hug where he was sitting, his arms instinctively embracing you back. When he pulled away he glanced at you and Topper in silent question, you mouthed to him later and he nodded in understanding.

“Actually, they dropped all the charges,” John B responded with Sarah still clutching onto him. “I’m a free man.”

“Yeah, I’d love to take the credit for it but the plan went horribly wrong.” JJ readjusted his cap.

You side glanced at him and sat on the empty spot on the floor of the boat beside him, “And here I was wasting my hug on you.”

“Sarah, they’re coming after Rafe.” John B tells his girlfriend after releasing his hold on her.

You let out a breath, you weren’t sure if it was relief or a breath you were still holding in from last night, knowing he was still out there. “Good, he’s completely unhinged.”

JJ gives you a quizzical look but says nothing. He was the only one who knew of your history with Rafe, a history he wasn’t too happy about and he certainly was not gonna be happy when he finds out about what happened last night.

“He jumped me and Y/n last night,” Sarah confesses. “That’s why we didn’t come back.”

The breath you just let out came right back in from the sharp inhale you took. JJ from beside you sat quietly stuck in his own mind, you can practically hear his thoughts.

“Literally almost drowned his own sister, and yours. Thankfully, I got there just in time,” Topper spoke with a sincerity that you weren’t completely convinced. It was a jab at John B for not being there for his girlfriend and a bonus with you involved. Two people your brother cared about that Topper took care of while he was gone.

“I guess I owe you one, Topper.” John B forcefully drew out, refusing to look at the Kook as he said it.

“It’s all good, somebody had to rescue your little sister, right?” He scoffed with a slight wave of his hand, in a ‘don’t worry about it’ way. “Oh, and your girlfriend.”

JJ’s fist balled up the cap that he took off again. You kept quiet letting John B handle the shade Topper was throwing.

“That’s funny because she’s not actually my girlfriend, right?”

Topper chuckled, “Well, what is she then?”

John B looked at Sarah with an expectant smile, a hand on his hip waiting patiently for her to tell Topper that they took their relationship to a higher level. She glanced at John B and Topper and instead of saying what you were all waiting for her to confirm, she faces Topper and stuttered as she says, “I’m with him.”

That threw you off guard, your eyes widened a little as you caught Kie’s gaze, and she winced in your direction. Yikes, that was the only thought that was shared between you at that moment.

“Oh, you’re with him?” Topper gave a hearty laugh, he looked to you and your friends “You guys clear on that?”

“I think it’s clear you gotta go,” JJ said in John B’s defense.

Topper nodded, “Yeah, it’s about that time. Y/n, it was a pleasure, take it easy.”

You gave a curt nod with a tight smile, the last 24 hours were too much for you to deal with without you having to thank Topper for his services.

Sarah called out to the boy, hugged him, and thanked him. He held her back, staring directly at John B with a sly smile.

You knew he had to be pissed and you cringed into your hands. The drama truly did not stop with them.

~~~

You took the nicest nap when you and the others went back to the Chateau, home never felt so good. Your brother was free and out of jail. Your assailant was now being hunted by the police, it was safe to breathe now.

You roam around the house looking for any sign of life, checking the fridge last as if there was going to be anything other than beer and way past expired leftovers. You took the last can and walked out the screen door.

“What’s up, pretty boy?” You walk up to JJ who was lazily swinging himself on the hammock. He didn’t respond, simply tossing the empty beer can in the opposite direction.

“I almost die and this is the treatment I get?” You laugh off the awkward tension. “Tell me how the breakout went.”

He shrugged, “Didn’t go the way I planned, cops got roped in. Lucky Kie and Pope showed up in the nick of time.”

“So because I wasn't there when shit went down, I get knocked down your list of favorite people?”

“John B’s your brother Y/n, as much- more even than mine, and you chose to meet up with a Kook that tried to murder you, over him.” He placed both feet on the ground, sitting upright in the hammock.

“It’s not like that you know it!” Your voice rose. “That was the past, my bad for not wanting to go along with your risky ass plan and going with Sarah for backup.”

“Backup,” JJ scoffed. He pointed to your neck, “Look where that got you.”

You let your fingertips ghost over your throat where you felt the tenderness of where Rafe’s hands were last night. You hadn’t looked in a mirror yet but you could imagine there would be a sight of bruises.

Bitterness tanged your mouth, “Fuck you, Maybank.”

“No thanks, wouldn’t want Rafe’s leftovers.”

“How dare you?” Your voice wavered from the restraint it took to withhold your anger. “After everything, we’ve been through, JJ? How fucking dare you.” Everything implies the kiss, the stolen touches, and the silent embraces that alluded to there being something more than just years of comfortable friendship and loyalty.

“You left with Sarah for one night and you show up with Topper, not very Pogue of you, Princess.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Do I look like I'm joking?”

“JJ,” His name came out in a hurt whisper. He was fine when he left you at the Chateau, there were no words exchanged that told you he felt betrayed by you not joining him in his plans.

His face expressed the shame you didn’t doubt that he felt, you also knew that he wouldn’t apologize now. The words were out, what he felt at that moment was out and there was no taking it back, at least not right now.

Rafe’s leftovers.

What a dick. You wanted to question him about the night you found out about John B and Sarah, you spent the rest of the night in each other's arms, grieving. Did that mean nothing? Was that what he was thinking the day after? You slept in your bed, the same as you always had, with the exception of the kisses you would share in the dark. The morning after went the same as it had every sleepover and with no discussion of the affection you both expressed the night before.

There was never an appropriate time to talk about it, either one of you was drinking to the point of alcohol poisoning or the rest of the pogues were around, John B’s death hanging in the air. Whenever it was just the two of you, you were too afraid to bring it up knowing JJ ran away from any serious conversation about love.

Did he know you loved him?

Did you expect him to?

The comfort kisses had to mean something, JJ wouldn’t mess with your emotions if it wasn’t something but then again the altercation with the letter was still in the back of your head. Either way, his words were a punch to your gut and you didn’t know how to move on from this.

You were five feet apart, glaring at each other when his phone rang saving him from saying anything else on the matter.

“Yeah, hello?” He picked up and began to walk away in the direction of the dock.

You huffed with your arms crossed, staring up at the sky, hurting from the fight with your best friend.

“What?” You heard him in the distance. “Alright, alright, we’ll be there soon.”

He ran past you towards the open tool shed, you sped after him coming to a halt behind him. Pope and Kie were caught in a deep embrace, JJ’s arrival causing them to let go with his shouts of Pope’s name.

“Just got a call from Guffy, something happened to your pops,” JJ breathed out.

~~~

“Let me know if I’m hurting you,” You tell Heyward as you apply the square bandage made for oversized cuts onto the gash on his forehead.

“You’re doin’ just fine darlin’, thank you,” He winced as he assured you. You gave him a half smile and patted his shoulder when you finished. You settled beside Kiara on a wooden bench behind Heyward.

Heyward immediately began to explain what caused his injury to Pope and the rest of you.

“I should’ve known better, He came in just as I was about to lock up and caught me by surprise. Once he had me down, he put his knee in my chest, once he had me down he asked me about that key from that drawing you showed me.” He noticed the glances you were all giving each other, “In case y’all were wondering, I didn’t tell him anything. Now, did you track it down?”

Pope fished in his pocket and pulled out a thin long gold key with a red ribbon tied to its open circular top. “I found it in Mee-maw’s old apartment above the pharmacy just like you said.”

“Shit, boy, you should’ve given this to me. I wouldn’t have had to take a beating.” He told Pope with an annoyed tone. “What’s the big deal? It ain’t worth anything. Why do they want it so bad?”

“I don’t know,” Pope confesses. “First, I get this letter telling me that I need to go to Charleston, and then I meet this rich lady who wants me to give her a key that I didn’t know was in my family.”

“None of it makes any sense,” Kie says from beside you.

“Well, don’t y’all just sit here whining about it, Figure it out!” Heyward exclaimed but Pope shut him down telling him that he was just going to give Limberey the key and that it wasn’t worth losing his dad over it but Heyward cut him off. “Did I raise you to back down from a fight, boy?”

Pope shook his head, “No, sir.”

“I didn’t think about it before but now,” Pope’s dad pointed to his bandaged forehead. “I’m interested. “Did they say why they wanted it?”

“Something about an old cross, I think it might be some kind of lost treasure.”

“You know who you should talk to? Your great-grandmother, Mee-maw.” He hands the key back to Pope.

Now with the reassurance that Heyward was alright and the knowledge that Limberey and her bodyguard were hounding for the key, with Heyward's encouragement, you were all now in on the hunt for the missing pieces of the puzzle.

It was decided that the Pogues were going to accompany Pope on his mission but the ride in the Twinkie was quiet. John B was driving with JJ in the passenger seat, while you, Kie, Pope, and Sarah were in the back. The only sound coming from the slightly cracked window to let air in and the radio.

Eventually, Pope spoke up, mentioning something that Limberey slipped out unintentionally. “She said the key leads to the cross of Santo Domingo.”

“Are we supposed to know what that is?” You ask. JJ reached his arm out to Pope and asked to see the key, he handed it to him without thought.

“I’m guessing it’s some sort of historical artifact of great importance,” Pope responded.

“According to the interwebs, it was a gift from New Spain to the Spanish king.” Kie recited from Google.

“New Spain?” JJ interjected. “Is there an Old Spain?”

You rolled her eyes at him, not caring to hear a word from him. Kie flipped her phone to show you and the rest what the cross looks like from a picture off Wikipedia.

“Shit, talk about over-gifting, look at that thing.” The picture was of a person in armor next to the infamous cross with intricate detailing, Kie pulled her phone back and continued to read “It was widely considered, at the time, to be the most extravagant tribute ever from the provinces. It was lost off the coast of Bermuda in 1829.”

“Did you just say Bermuda?” JJ inquired.

“Not the triangle,” John B told him.

“It always leads back to the triangle, dude, like every single time something’s weird.” JJ insisted, “It’s Bermuda.”

“Okay but-” You ignore JJ focusing on Pope, “What does a key found above your Mee-maw’s pharmacy have to do with any of this?”

“I don’t know, That’s a good question.”

The sign to Shady Acres nursing home was in view, You, Kie, and JJ were already prepared to hop out of the car. With John B finally putting the car in park JJ opened the sliding door, you were the one closest to it both of you not daring to make contact, you let Pope pass over you and Kie who hovered over you until Pope told you all that he wanted to go in alone.

“Are you sure?” Kie asked.

“I can handle it, I don’t really need you,” Pope shrugged. Your eyes widened a little at the use of his words towards Kie.

“We’re just all one big happy family today, aren’t we?” JJ spouted sarcastically. Pope simply walked away, and Kie went back to her seat.

“You’re one to talk,” You murmured to yourself, not expecting to be heard but judging by the way JJ shot you a look before slamming the door to the back of the van, he did. Good, you thought, he deserved to know that you were angry.

John B drove off telling Pope that he’d pick him up in a bit and parked in front of a nearby Kildare Island corner store.

You and the girls decided to get something to drink- an excuse, really, to gossip about the boys. Once you were out of earshot the shit-talking began.

“Y/n wanna share with the class?” Kie filled her paper cup with soda as she gave you a knowing look.

“Hm?” You were walking around the shop looking for any chips you might want but found nothing, grabbing a cup from the stack and copying her movements. “What do you mean?”

“She means that little comment you made at JJ,” Sarah clarified. "What was up with that?"

You winced not feeling up to telling them the full story, you also thought that JJ was the only one that heard you. “He’s just being a bitch today and when he said that we weren’t being a happy family I just spoke my thoughts.”

“Which are?” Kie pushed.

“That JJ’s an asshole, Kie.” You deadpan.

“Ouch, calm down grumpy I’m only trying to let you vent,” She sighed. “The last thing I need is to be on someone else’s bad side.” You and Sarah give her inquisitory looks.

“Pope’s giving me the silent treatment for not being in love with him.”

The two of you, you and Sarah, Ahh'd at her in understanding. It was official now, Pope and Kie were a no-go. Part of you selfishly thought about how JJ no longer had an excuse not to go for Kiara and how much it made your stomach turn. 

“Well, John B’s pouty because I didn’t tell Topper the ‘big news’ and because I thanked him.” Sarah shared.

“Yeah why did you do that?” asked Kie.

“He saved our lives, and I’d put him through so much already and you’d think that that is the crime of the century.” She expressed. You understood her, and you understood John B, at this point in your life. You were going to mind your business and let John B and Sarah figure it out for themselves.

“Tell me about it, all this crazy shit that’s been happening and JJ’s pissed because I ‘ditched’ him to help you out,” You point to Sarah as you three begin walking back to the van. “And came back with a kook, so apparently I’ve lost the privilege of being called a Pogue.”

“And we’re the dramatic ones,” Kie shook her head with a smile.

It was back to being silent when you three climbed back in and John B cruised back to the nursing home.

Pope exhaled as he sat down, “Shit just got way more personal.”

~~~

Turns out, Pope is a direct descendant of Denmark Tanny and his wife Cecilia. The six of you were outside of Heywards where all the fishing gear and coolers were when Pope filled you all in.

“Does that mean poopy is a royal?” You mused.

“A king?” John B played along.

“We shall crown him,” JJ grabbed an imaginary crown and ‘placed it’ on Pope’s head. “All hail the lord of Tannyhill. We are not worthy.”

The five of you bowed down to Pope in waves, he blushed and insisted you all stop so you did.

“Relocate the cat’s ass, question mark?” Sarah referred to the hot tub JJ bought with the money you both stole from Barry’s place.

“I’m with that,” JJ responded. “‘Cause I don’t have a place to stay.”

“How soon can we move in?” Kie asked, “‘Cause me neither, bunk beds?”

“Bunk beds,” JJ agreed and tapped his beer can with hers. “Cheers to that.”

No doubt JJ and Kie would be staying at the Chateau with you and John B, and Sarah too with all that’s been going on. In this scenario, John B and Sarah would be in his room, You and Kie in yours, and JJ in the pullout. Though you were mad at JJ, the thought of you and him not sharing a bed anymore was disappointing, it’s not like you and Kie never shared your room before but before John B came back you couldn’t lie and say that you didn’t get used to having JJ be the one next to you.

You continued to ignore JJ and asked Pope what he was thinking about since he hadn’t spoken in a while.

“I just keep thinking about the letter, the one that Limberey sent, it had the wheat symbol on it. That must mean it has something to do with the Royal Merchant.” Pope theorized, “But if we find that cross we can split it like we were gonna split the gold.”

“And live happily ever after?” The blonde woman with her cane and guard dog, holding up an umbrella, came from around the corner.

You tensed standing to the right Pope who was leaning on a faded wooden pole used to hold up the roof. JJ on his left and John B.

“You assaulted my father,” Pope confronted Limberey. The man who was always around her pushed him away from the lady.

“I didn’t assault anybody," She denied.

Kie spoke from her spot on top of two coolers stacked on each other, “He can identify the psycho from a mile away.”

“Why would my employee assault your father?” Limberey chuckled. “That’s absurd.”

You glanced to where John B and JJ were conspiring in silence, you knew the looks on their faces, though nobody else outside of your friend group would know they had something up their sleeve. You let them do their thing in fear of getting them caught because you were staring too long.

“Listen, we can keep on negotiating, but the fact is that I want the key-” Pope went for the woman but JJ went behind him to hold him back, and so did Limberey’s employee. “Until I have it, I don’t have a choice, which means you don’t either.”

John B then snuck out a key, though you weren’t sure if it was the real key or not, he held it up. “Is this what you’re looking for?”

“Yes, it is,” Limberey confirmed in her airy voice.

“Looking at the tide right now, I’d say it’s about 20 feet deep out there. So if I threw it in the channel, the probability of you finding it again is slim to none.” John B began to walk to the water, “You wanna give it a shot? Let’s see what happens, ready?”

He was hyping the maybe-fake key, and Limberey and her guard dog rushed for it. Pope looked at you in confusion, slipping his hand into his pocket and letting you peek at the key- the real one with the red ribbon. You smirked, not knowing how JJ and John B could have pulled it off but Limberey was falling for it.

John B’s arm stuttered in the air, stopping at Limbereys shouts to stop. “Get him to back the hell up.”

“Of course,” Her tone was sickly sweet as she turned her attention to the scruffy man, “Backup. As I have told you from the beginning, I am willing to be reasonable.”

“Okay,” Pope conceded. “But I want the tape.”

Pleasant surprise filtered through the woman's features, smiling “Of course.”

John B decided to play up the act, whispering but keeping the volume of his voice loud enough for the rest of you to hear. “You don’t have to do this, okay?”

“No, it’s okay.”

“This is your family.” Unintentionally, your gaze met JJ’s, it was almost instinct now for your eyes to meet his with unspoken words of amusement.

“It’s fine, it’s about your dad.” He held out his palm for John B to hand him the key. “That’s way more important.”

Hesitantly, John B gave it to him. You pursed your lips to hide your smile at how fooled Limberey was.

“The tape?” Pope asked.

“Yes, give him the tape,” Limberey told her man to give it to Pope. The moment the tape was in his hand, Limebery took the key in a quick exchange. “You know, I wish that you’d come to this decision earlier. We could have avoided all this unpleasantness.”

“How long do you think we have until she realizes she has your father’s old key?” JJ asks John B.

“10 minutes,” He shrugs.

“Whose idea was the fake key?” You pipe in curiously.

“Shockingly, not mine,” Kie states.

JJ scrunched his nose and leaned into John B who wrapped his arm around the blond, “Hm, I don’t know. Should we tell them?” John B pats JJ’s chest.

At the mention of it being JJ’s idea, you kept the pride you felt for him to yourself and let the others vocalize their praises.

With the tape officially in the Pogue's hands, you were all ready to go to the police station and hand it over to Shoupe. John B was in and out, as you all waited in the Twinkie. He walked out with a bright face you hadn’t seen on him in a while.

At the Chateau, you and the girls sat on the porch, huddled together on the old couch while the boys celebrated and cheered at the fact that Ward Cameron was now a criminal and would be arrested for his crimes.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, Ward Cameron is going to jail!” JJ’s excitement resounded throughout the Chateau and out the open window.

You and Kie smiled fondly, while Sarah’s face was crestfallen. You couldn’t blame her but you weren’t going to shut down any celebration of her dad’s new status.

“Do you regret it?” You ask her.

“No,” She says honestly. “He deserves all of it, and I know that.”

“He’s your dad, I get it,” Kie chimes in. “I’m sure it sucks to be in the middle.”

Sarah’s new phone rings and you had no doubt it was a phone call from the one who gifted it to her.

~~~

The police were on the streets were well on their way to Tannyhill, and so were you and the rest of the Pogues. John B sped through as fast as he could, you were sure if the cops hadn’t been otherwise preoccupied, he would have been stopped. The six of you peered over the concrete wall to the side of the Cameron's yard, where several cop cars were parked.

“Screw it, I’m going over,” John B braced his hands to hop the wall.

JJ planted himself, sitting on the wall to give the girls a boost, Kie went, then Sarah. When it got to you, you hesitated and you could tell he did too but you went for it anyway.

All of you successfully over the wall, you heard Wheezie asking why there were police there. Sarah jogged forward and hugged her, telling her to go inside. You all followed the sight of police officers on the dock, Ward Cameron’s yacht, floating on the water.

“Dad!” Sarah shouted. “What are you doing?”

“Sarah, what are you doing baby, you can’t be here!” Ward pulled a lever to lift the anchor.

“Dad, please don’t leave!”

Ward ignored her and entered the helm, and suddenly the world seemed to stop as ‘My Druthers’ had exploded.

Chills ran through your body in disbelief at what had just happened. You witnessed John B’s face processing, Sarah gasped, screaming her dad's name, reaching out for him she sunk to the ground sobbing. Topper had come from literally nowhere, holding her as she cried.

Your heart bled for Sarah but your terror was finally over, Ward is dead. The nightmare was over, it felt like you had the closure you needed to move on with your life.

~~~

Chapter 17

Taglist:

@deanwherescas - @thtbwltts - @nerdypartytrashpsychic - @random-girl-army - @wisegirlies - @instabull - @sexyfoxlady - @bubs-world - @sdawn03 - @mendesclines - @obx-pogues-4-life - @mentalforfics - @p-prettybitch - @namacissi - @dczedhee - @inkandpen22 - @royalavenger - @ayeitsjustmee - @80strashbag - @onlyangel-444 - @freds-slut - @poppet05 - @itsjuststaticnoises - @ahnneyong - @lovepizza567 - @jasminfelling - @rana03 - @rana030 - @loki-loveer - @lostinatimeline - @boldlypessimistic - @clinelyn - @a-j-stuffs - @jbassettjmaybank

(if your name is crossed that means tumblr won't let me tag you)

[tojikai]

THINGS THAT KEEP ME UP AT NIGHT

- “fix you” y/n never even coming close to the love toji has for his first wife

- Naomi and satoru(Literally everything regarding that)

- Naomi and yui( Literally everything regarding that as well)

- Home toji cheating on the supposed women he loves and everything y/n went through due to it(she didn’t get her happy ending:((( )

- What could’ve been with pm satoru and y/n

- Constantly hearing about how “good” naomi was to satoru even him himself still praising her in a way after what she did

- will we get a sundered or pm sequel or prequel (since home and fix you are honestly harder to see with a sequel atleast)

- does kai get annoyed/tired of the amount of asks they been getting lately 😞

Other stuff I was hoping you could answer 🥺

- did he genuinely love Naomi or did he just love her in terms of comfort? Could you explain the love he had towards her please(I’ll probably be heartbroken at the answer maybe but we love being miserable I guess lol)

- If naomi came into his life first would he date her first and last, and would yui even happen?!?!?

- ^ what would happen if y/n later on came into his life or he met both at the same time

- does satoru love yui or y/n more? What’s the difference between his love for them because when it comes to yui and y/n disappearing In the extra chapter and ask’s where you explain things, it seems like he’s more focused on y/n.

- once yui and y/n were in his life did they become the people he loved the most or did it eventually happen after his mom and Naomi weren’t in his life anymore or at some point

honestly i wanted them to end up tgt miserable without being able to have a kid while yui and y/n are in another country with toji and megumi🤭or a “Home” type ending where Gojo get’s everything thrown back at him 17393939 times harder

AHAHAH let me give my thoughts on some of this, they're really entertaining🤣

hmm pm satoru and yn could've had it all honestly.

im definitely thinking about how home yn didn't get a chance at happy ending too 🥹 (the humming tiktok sound didn't help :'>)

as for Satoru praising Naomi, yeah he's really grateful for what he did for him. she stayed w him at his lowest, he can't deny that 🥹 but what she did is not something he'll easily put behind. it almost ruined everything.

sequelssss idk, maybe when i have more time to write. as of now i am writing different things bc my interests switches really fast. like strangely fast, i kinda wanna get checked bc of this.

NOPE, kai's never annoyed w questions bc i really enjoy these stuff. even just reading your thoughts and reactions is very interesting to me. PLUS, i get a lot of ideas from them. they trigger ideas LMAO

Satoru loved naomi in that comfort way yes. bc she was really supportive and understanding towards him. like she didn't drop her even during those worsts of him. and the fact that she had to deal w his broken fam/baby momma issues too, yeah he admires her for that. but as for love like the "love-love" he has for y/n? no. he can't love anyone in the same level as yn.

he'd probably date naomi if she came first. that doesn't mean he wouldn't date yn once they get to know each other tho. a lot of things that could lead them to each other can happen. he'd probably wouldn't want a child early on in the rs if he and Naomi were dating. even yui was a surprise (not unwanted tho <3)

if he met both at the same time, he's going w yn lmao. he won't be able to stop it.

he's more focused on yn bc yn is mom. where mom is, yui is LMAO that doesn't mean he loves yui less tho. like w yui its more of nurturing and guiding. while with yn, ofc its romantic.

yn became the love of his life when he woke up one morning and thought of how nice it was to wake up next to her warmth🥺it was like she couldn't ask for anything anymore. along with that was yui ofc, she was pregnant that time and when she was born was one of his happiest days. even when he was with naomi, satoru has accepted that yn will always be the love of his life. it was just that in his mind he just gotta move on and forget bc back then it felt like nothing good will ever happen in their rs again. until he saw her w toji and then bam, he woke up. he's not having that everyday, he can't do it.

btw the home ending for naomi and satoru would've been fire. like they live the rest of their life regretting the decisions they made. but i think satoru wouldn't be able to handle being away from yn and yui even if that meant being an outsider in their new life alone 🥹

[bbq-potato-chip]

HI HAI HOPE IM NOT TOO LATE FOR TH ASK GAME BUT ✨ your silly lil green guy. yknow the one. ulquiorra. please please tell me about him ive been spectating from afar and i need to know abt him so bad. as silly or as serious as you want, say anything, ijust wanna hear abt him from a certified Appreciator(tm). be free :]

Aaaaaag!!!!! SHAKING FOAMING AT THE MOUTH !!!!

At last I am enabled HE IS MY FUNNY LITTLE GREEN GUY AND I LOVE HIM I am honored to be chosen as a certified appreciatior ANYWAY SO UM let me just explain like. What he is rlly quick because there are so many different types of guys in the whole bleach world

you have humans, who live in the world of the living and souls (dead people) who also live in the world of the living and then you have hollows which are like corrupted souls that the soul reapers gotta defeat to get them to love on to the next life (which is in the soul society)(the soul reapers also live there)(the soul reapers are also dead people)(it’s like a whole reincarnation thing)

the hollows live in this other dimension called hueco mundo they look like this (the guy on the left- hollows are more “monster-y” looking whereas arrancars are more human looking but they still have the holes where their hearts should be-hence the term hollow)

So these guys called arrancars (that’s what ulquiorra is!!!) they’re hollows that have been modified to be kind of…like a cross between a soul reaper and hollows because they have swords (soul reaper thing) but are also hollows. Basically like. You have a bear and your like let me give that bear a gun. Like that. The main antagonist is responsible for all that for reasons™️ but that’s a whole other thing in it of itself. But yeah he’s like an an evil henchmen.

but onto greater, more important things

ok completely on a surface level his charcter design is like. 10/10

I don’t know much abt charcter design but since his colors are limited he really like stands out (it’s part of the reason why I think kny characters have such good designs because they stick to the two main color plus accent color)

He’s mostly black n white with accents with green which is just so striking and the green tear makeup is just *chefs kiss* PLUS the combination of the traditional Japanese hakufu pants combined with the almost (not rlly sure how to put it) like European tail coat kind of deal he’s got going on really is such an interesting combination of two different cultural fashions. Ichigo (the guy on the right) has kind of a similar deal going on with the pants and the more western looking tuxedo looking deal and they’re design are supposed to Parallel each other for thematic reasons but PERSONALLY I think ulquiorra does it way better . But idk Maybe I’m biased!!

And there’s his other powered up forms which are just so cool

He’s so edgy. I love him this slaps so hard I cannot deny he’s so creaturecore

ok so now. Plot stuff

so basically his whole deal is that he’s a nihilist. Throughout his appearance he’s always like oooh nothing matters I don’t care blah blah blah despite the fact that he has emo make up. He does NOT put the emotion in emo. (Which, at least my impression of emo is about wearing emotions on your sleeve. I don’t know much abt emo as like a whole but if anyone has any like critique on my definition please let me know I’d love to learn more) My man is emo in style but is like yeah whatever I don’t feel emotions I don’t have a heart I’m not human don’t think of me as a human I’m a logical emotionless creature yadayada.

it’s such an interesting design choice to me because it really highlights how…hypocritical his worldview is. As the story goes on you can see his whole nothing matters deal kind of crack, towards his finally battle we see him get angry and surprised and then (spoiler alert) love right before he dies.

And you really can’t talk about ulquiorra without talking about orihime.

orihime was kidnapped basically by orders of the main antagonist because she has powers that he needs for reasons™️. It’s kind of a long explanation why so I’ll just leave it at that. But the whole reason Orihime is there was because she loves her friends, and she goes over to the side of the enemy because she didn’t want her friends to get hurt (basically the “bad guys” were like come with us or we’ll kill your friends and she was like. Well I guess I have to go because I love my friends) which is like the complete opposite of ulquiorra because he’s all like whatever friendship love and bonds are all bull. But as he interacts with her he gets (upset?curious? Not sure of the wording) about what it means to have a heart (or a bond with another person really). I just love how as we move through the arc we see him gradually more humanized, partly as a result of orihime being all like. You’re wrong things DO matter but also because he IS human in a way.

specifically there’s a scene in his backstory one shot where orihime catches him sleeping and brings him food and it just shows that yeah maybe he’s not technically a regular guy but he gets sleepy and needs a little snack!!! He’s grumpy about it but I just love how it portrays him in such a different way than we usually get to see him. (He’s embarrassed he’s so funny. “Ooooh I take naps and eat snacks 🙄so embarrassing” He’s so silly)

As he talks to orihime throughout this arc he gets CLOSER to understanding as his whole nothing matters deal keeps getting shut down by her when he tries to convince her that nothing matters. But he really doesn’t GET it until right before his death when he realizes what “the heart” is. Because orihime showed him humanity and kindness he’s like oooohhhh I get it now. But at the last second which just is so…cries

anyway. He finally realizes what it means to care about something as he dies and it’s so tragic because this is the first time he’s ever felt anything and now he’s going to die reaching out to her. It’s probably THE most tragic anime scene I’ve ever watched it kills me literally Everytime I watch it screaming crying throwing up. You know the deal!!!

Then after that whole arc is finished the author published this art . And look at him. He’s so silly look at him

Anyway. *does jazz hands 👐 * that’s my guy!!!

!!!

Also!!! Fun facts(tm)

-Ulquiorras name was based off of Spanish architect and the castle that he lives in is based off of abstract Spanish architecture . Which I just think is really neat

-His birthday is on December 1!!!

-i just think he’s neat!!!

Anyway thank you so much for the ask I am so sorry this took forever to respond to I jus have SO many thoughts and typing on my phone takes FOREVER anyway I hope I did him justice!!!

[colorsunimaginable]

the spare // chapter forty-seven // death eater ! tom hiddleston oc x plus size ofc - voldemort wins au

story summary:  While on a mission to avenge the death of her best friend, Ilvermorny graduate Melisa Alder finds herself in the middle of the fight to defeat Voldemort. Upon capture after the Dark Lord's triumph, she's being sold at an auction with other muggle borns and blood traitors. Her only hope is also her only bidder - the tall, dark, and handsome Thomus Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy's younger half-brother. Is he just another Death Eater or is he hiding more than just his face beneath the mask? Will she realize her true potential to be one of the resistance's greatest weapons?

*a Voldemort Wins AU with Tom Hiddleston cast as an OC x a plus size protagonist* *takes place in The Auction universe by Lovesbitca8*

words for this chapter: 3k warnings for this chapter: masturbation, dirty talk

CHAPTER MASTERLIST

Chapter Forty-Seven:

I sleep like the dead that night. It’s a sleep so good that when I wake up, I’ve no idea the time or place, and I honestly couldn’t give a fuck. The dark curtains for the room I’m in have been pulled back, letting the bright sun drag across the space. It disrupts my blissfully ignorant sleep. Rubbing my eyes, I push myself up onto my elbows.

Oh, fuck. I’m in Thomus’ room. There’s a few sparks of regret for trespassing in on his space, but they quickly fizzle out. What the fuck’s he gonna do? Be mad at me? He can just add it to his list.

I sigh, falling back onto the pillows, and roll onto my side, away from the light.

As tends to be the case lately, so much so that it almost feels like a habit, my mind wanders to what he’s doing. Maybe there’s a major time difference and he’s still asleep. Maybe he’s hard at work, bossing poor Italian wizards around their office. Is he wearing his Death Eater outfit or office attire? He probably took over the Editor in Chief’s corner office, overlooking something of importance. I can only imagine that he’s a nightmare to work with. Especially coming in for a hostile takeover. He’ll be commanding and rude, probably easily irritable.

I’d surmised that La Penna de Venezia meant The ‘Something’ of Venice, and from what I know of Venice, there’s more waterways than there are roads. I hope whatever poor soul he has at his beck and call just pushes him into the fucking river. Lord knows he’d deserve it.

My hands start going numb from being tucked so tightly under my jaw, so I shift and cross my arms over my middle. I feel where my torso cascades, my hip jutting out from where my belly and fupa shift towards the bed. As my arms cradle that part of me, I remember how Thomus had touched me there. Especially when fucking me against the wall, he’d touched me like it… turned him on.

Of course I know that there are guys out there who’re into plus sized women like that. I’ve just never met one. Does Thomus just… secretly have a fat fetish? It’s always something I’ve had a negative connotation with, but his apparent appreciation for this part of my body doesn’t feel negative. He’d looked at me with reverence and fucked me like he couldn’t get enough. How is that a bad thing?

Coming from him, it’s wildly confusing, but definitely not bad. A conversation we’d had while he was still healing from the doxy bite makes more sense now. I remember saying that he was ashamed of me and he didn’t deny it. I’d thought it had something to do with my blood status. Maybe it’s both what I look like and my blood status. Was he telling the truth about the lust potion or was he just trying to cover his own ass?

I wish that man would start making more sense.

Unsurprisingly, because I’m lying in bed, thinking about sex, specifically sex with Thomus, my monkey brain starts to take the wheel. Every ounce of self-respect and shame leaves my body the moment I get it in my head that I wanna get off. I flip onto my back and shove my sleep shorts down my legs, kicking them off under the covers. Fuck it, undies too.

My heart is racing by the time my fingers start circling my clit. My thoughts are consumed with Thomus pushing me up against the wall again. Hands bound to the wall, his grip on my hips so tight he’d leave bruises. In my head I can hear the pornographic slap of skin on skin and my two middle fingers slip down to plunge into my entrance. The wet squelching sounds rising from between my legs only add fuel to the daydream. If only I could hear his voice right now.

You wanted this, didn’t you? No, don’t lie, you wanted your cunt stuffed full with my cock.

Imagination running wild, fingers pumping, thumb pressing in so good. I’m losing my mind here, so close to the edge.

Look at you, a dripping mess for my cock, so needy and desperate to cum.

My body’s torturously tense. My free hand’s cupping my breast, twisting and pulling at my nipple. My forearm is starting to cramp from how hard I’m fingering myself. I can barely breathe I’m so close. The lack of oxygen makes my mind narrow and focus only on how good I feel and the wanton scene in my head.

That’s a good girl, cum on my cock. You just can’t help yourself, can you? Such a dirty fucking whore.

My insides tighten around my fingers and my hips tilt upward, heels on the bed pushing myself against my hand as I fucking lose it. Insanity has completely taken over as I lose myself in this fantasy, writhing on the bed as I climax.

Of course, once the tremors have stopped and I pull my hand out from between my legs, my emotions are all over the place. It’s not unheard of for me to get emotional after an orgasm, but this feels particularly… overwhelming. I haven’t touched myself since before Thomus and I had sex for the first time. I don’t know what I feel about it, but I know I’m definitely feeling something. Maybe it’s because of how confusing everything is. Well, how confusing he is.

I’m exhausted once again and I shove my face into the pillow when I roll over onto my side. Smelling him makes me wonder what he’s doing again. He’s probably busy, running a fucking newspaper, flirting with pretty Italian women, not thinking about me at all.

~*~

The next time I wake, I force myself to get out of bed. I go back to my own room, putting myself together enough to wander the manor. It’s late in the afternoon, probably nearly supper, or dinner, or tea. Whatever it is they call it here.

I find Narcissa in her study, scribbling away at something on her desk. She spots me right as I’m about to knock.

“Come in, dear,” she says, her lips curved into a soft smile.

“Hi.” I step in through the doorway. “Just wanted to prove I’m still alive.”

“You look very well-rested.”

I laugh once. “Yeah, I feel a lot better.”

She dips her quill into a black inkwell. “If you’d care to wait a few moments, we can walk down to dinner together. I’m just finishing some letters.”

“Sure.” As I wait, my eyes travel the small room. There’s a bookcase behind the door, the kind that’s embedded into the wall. I’m drawn to it because it’s covered in framed photos and knickknacks. A few are pictures of Draco growing up, either playing Quidditch or dressed smartly in his Hogwarts uniform, even one I’m assuming is him as a baby. Lucius and Narcissa on their wedding day, flanked by a bridal party consisting of Bellatrix and a teenage Thomus, plus a few others I can’t name. The oldest looking picture is of three girls. Two of them are obviously a young Bellatrix and Narcissa, but the third girl, she looks like a strange mixture of the two of them. The girl also bears a resemblance to… someone, but I can’t quite place it.

I barely notice when Narcissa rises from her desk, finished with her task. She comes to gaze at the pictures, too, standing next to me.

“He was quite tall, even then, wasn’t he?” she says. “I think he was only twelve when Lucius and I married.”

My eyes widen and they dart back to that photo. He’s nearly as tall as Lucius. “No way.”

She chuckles. “The Malfoy men have always been tall.”

“Must’ve eaten all their green beans,” I say. “My mom’s side of the family’s tall, too, and that’s what she’d say.” I glance at her and she just smiles in return, a soft acknowledgement. My eyes go back to the picture of the three girls. “Do you have another sister?”

She pauses a moment before answering, her expression turning somber. “Yes. Andromeda.”

“Did she not come to your wedding?” I ask. Andromeda is noticeably absent from the wedding photos. Then I smile sheepishly. “Sorry if I’m prying.”

Narcissa’s expression turns regretful. “It’s quite alright,” she says, and then takes a deep breath, her shoulders lifting. “She hasn’t been a part of our family for a long time.”

I frown. “That sounds dramatic.”

Her next words are spoken carefully. “Traditions and… prejudice run deep in families like ours,” she says. “I consider myself quite fortunate to have fallen in love with Lucius.” She can see the questions in my expression, so she continues. “She married a muggle born man named Edward Tonks and my parents disowned her.”

The lightbulb in my brain clicks. This must be Tonks’ parents. It’s no wonder I saw some resemblance.

“Did you?” I ask quietly.

She sighs. “In my own way. We write. It can be… difficult to put aside our upbringing. Prejudice isn’t just an external battle, but a mental one as well. One that has to be fought every day.”

“I understand,” I murmur. “Maybe if you weren’t the only one reconsidering all the brainwashing, we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

A gentle smile returns to her face. “I’m not the only one.”

My eyebrows raise and I cross my arms, my tone light. “Oh? And who might that be? Definitely not someone like your sister.”

One perfectly shaped brow perks up. “You’ve definitely turned a certain someone’s life upside down.”

I’m confused for a split second, then I snort and have to cover a stupid, disbelieving grin on my face. “No, absolutely not.”

She merely smiles at me and doesn’t say anything. I regain control and look at her seriously.

“Really,” I say, shaking my head. “It’s not like that. He hates me. He’s said so himself.”

“If that’s true, then he has a funny way of showing it.”

I can only look at her dumbfounded. “I don’t know what he thinks,” I admit. “He says one thing and – and acts completely different than to the thing that he says. I’m sorry if that makes no sense. I’m confused myself most of the –“

“Melisa, dear,” she says, putting her hand on my shoulder. “Do yourself a favor and do not listen to a word he says.”

I press my lips together to prevent myself from thinking aloud. Shaking my head slightly as I try to think of a way out of this conversation, my eyes land on a camera displayed on a lower shelf. I step back to look at it and her hand drops from my shoulder.

“Is that a No-Maj camera?” I ask.

“Oh, em,” she steps back to view it as well. “I believe so. It belonged to Abraxas. Lucius and Thomus’ father.”

“Can I take a look?”

“Of course.”

I bend to grab it. It’s a Canon AE-1 Program. They were really popular in the ‘80s and even now to the film photographers. I have its predecessor, the regular AE-1. This one looks brand new.

“I believe I was told it was broken,” she says.

“Broken?” I turn the camera over, trying to look for something amiss. I look through the viewfinder. The light meter isn’t on, but I still press the shutter button. Nothing happens. “The battery probably just died.”

“Battery?” Narcissa questions.

“Mm-hm,” I hum, flipping the camera to the front to open the battery hatch. The 6V inside is all crusty. I hold it out for her to see, pointing to the small metallic cylinder. “That’s not supposed to look like that.”

I dig my finger into the compartment and pull the battery out, dusting and blowing out the white crust.

She holds her hand out. “May I see?” I drop it into her hand and she peers at it closer. “What does this do?”

“It’s an energy source to make it work,” I explain. “It just needs to be replaced.”

“This means the camera isn’t broken?”

“Nope,” I smile. “Should work just fine. It looks like Abraxas was almost done with this roll of film.”

“Would you –“ she starts but there’s a knock on the door. We both turn to see Hermione. “Oh, hello, dear. You’re here for dinner, aren’t you? I’m sorry we’ve kept you waiting.”

“It’s no trouble,” Hermione responds, stepping back.

I go to put the camera back on the shelf, but Narcissa stops me. “Bring that with us. Would you mind explaining to me the process for how it works?”

I straighten. “Oh, um, sure.”

“I’ll meet you and Hermione in the dining room,” Narcissa says, staying in the study while I join Hermione in the hall. “I just need to owl these.”

~*~

All through dinner Narcissa has questions while I explain how cameras work and the process for developing the film. She asks if it’s standard practice among wizard’s to use No-Maj cameras. I had to politely explain that camera’s made by wizards were typically garbage. At least all the ones I’d come across. The main photographer at The Daily Prophet used a heavily modified No-Maj one.

I end up talking all about my experience and how I got into photography in the first place. It’s not difficult to talk about Sam, but it’s easier to talk about her as if she’s still alive. I don’t want to explain she’s my entire reason for being here. Thankfully, Hermione doesn’t give me away. She’s known the truth since we met.

Photography had been a way to bridge the gap between our worlds. The magical and the non-magical. Going to separate schools and being so far away was difficult, but being able to send her photos of what life was like at school made it easier. It’s like I got to include her. Her way of sharing her world was writing really long letters. Vignettes and blurbs about what was going on in her life. Sometimes she’d send short stories and even poetry. She was an amazing writer.

Nearing the end of our meal, Narcissa asks if it’s possible for me to develop the film currently in the camera. I say yes, but there’s a whole list of things I’d need.

She just smiles. “If you get a written list to me, I’ll be more than happy to get what you need.”

“Really?” I ask, unsure. “You don’t have to go to all that trouble.”

“It’s no trouble,” she reassures me. You would be doing our family a favor. The film is at least thirty years old. I’m dying of curiosity to know what’s on there.”

“Alright,” I say after a moment of thought. The opportunity to be able to do what’s so familiar to me, what’s more than just a hobby, is… fuck I’m excited. It’s almost too good to be true.

~*~

I finish The Disappearance of the Scourers that night, sitting with Hermione in her room. I don’t really find much in the way of magical slavery and I feel a bit discouraged. Hermione does as well, even though she’s sticking to the journals.

When I finally trudge to bed, I sleep in Thomus’ room again. I need to have regular, semi-decent sleep if I’m going to keep my head on my shoulders.

I wake in the morning, late morning, and on the nightstand where I’d put the camera, there’s a little paper wrapped package and a note. The elegant cursive tells me that the batteries and film were all she could obtain at the moment. A few of the ingredients for the developer on the list I’d given her will take some time.  

I can’t remember since I’d been kidnapped, ever getting ready so fast. I practically sprint to my room to get dressed for the day. When I leave the room, camera locked and loaded, I follow my nose to the conservatory. Hermione and Narcissa are already seated having breakfast.

Without thinking, I launch myself at Narcissa, hugging her. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Then I pull back, realizing that I probably shouldn’t be hugging a lady I don’t know all that well. “I’m sorry.”

She just smiles, if looking a little surprised, and straightens her dress. “It’s alright. I’m looking forward to seeing your work.”

“And I can’t wait to get started.” I can’t keep a grin off my face. I grab two pieces of toast and head for the door.

On my way out, I hear Hermione say, “I’m glad one of us is having a good time.”

The comment makes me slow down, and I pause, reigning in my excitement. I know she was being genuine and didn’t imply anything negative, but it still makes the guilt take hold. Thomus’ words of contempt as he reminded me of the privilege I have echo in my head.

Before I go outside, I grab the next book on the pile from the library. With the better sleep, I’m feeling more mentally able to help Hermione with the research.

It’s another beautiful day. Mostly overcast, my favorite kind of lighting, and a little windy. When I get to the clearing, my eyes immediately go to the spot where the blank paper is. Seeing that it’s exactly as I left it, I don’t bother to look at it closer.

For a little while, I roam the garden, trying to figure out what exactly I want to take pictures of. There’s only twenty-four frames and I want to make each of them count. I get a good shot of the house, an artistic angle of the maze, and a beautiful shot of the gazebo out on the pond.

I take myself back to the clearing, getting ready to settle for at least an hour of reading. From where I sit, there’s a perfect shot of the house, framed by the trees and foliage. I take the shot, and keep the camera to my eye, looking around through it. I turn towards the fence, the paper stuck under the rock is flapping in the breeze. I turn the lens to zoom in, noticing something on the paper. I want to make sure it’s maybe a blade of grass or a leaf stuck in between the folded paper. The lens focuses and I realize it’s not any of those things.

It's writing.

[bukguhope]

something about you 01

in which badboy! jeon jungkook desperately needs everyone to think he has a girlfriend and out of all the girls on campus that he could’ve chosen to fake date- he chose you, the girl who hates him the most.

—> fake dating, badboy! jungkook, swearing, mentions of blood/fighting, hate(mainly oc) to love, eventual light smut, little pining

college life was definitely more boring then you were expecting- well, that might have been down to you. with you refusing to go near any party or nights out, how else would you find excitement with a bunch of young adults when that’s what everyone else was doing with their time?

“you’re such a boring bitch” the scowl that came from you would make anyone else apologise for offending you, anyone but kim taehyung. being your best friend, he felt no threat from your glare. “what else are you even gonna do on a friday night?” once again you sat with him at the campus cafe on a thursday afternoon and listened to him rant on about how you just had to come to a random party that was happening on friday

“making sure i don’t wake up with a hangover on saturday” your best friend groaned and started kicking his legs around like a child having a tantrum, it was actually kinda amusing

“you always complain about being bored, why don’t you not be boring and come with me tomorrow? please it will be fun” the pout that was planted on his lips was almost convincing but you were hard headed, you didn’t wanna go near another campus party. of course tae didn’t know you had already been to one before, which was the biggest disaster. you regretted even stepping foot near that party, you wouldn’t be making that mistake again

“not my scene, no matter how much you pout or whine i’ll will not be attending. plus if i go, who else you going to call at 2am drunk and begging to be picked up?” taehyung had no rebuttal, you were right after all. it was like an unwritten agreement that you were his designated driver each weekend, ever since he called you a couple months back crying one night about how he was lost and had no idea how to het home. you were pissed when you found out he was actually drunk outside his own dorm after you ran out in the dead of the night to try and find his ass. but you couldn’t stay mad when his tear stained eyes looked up at you, crying even harder when he saw you stood above him. sure, he was annoying but he was your best friend.

“fine whatever, i can never convince you why do i even try”

“i don’t know why you do either” the smile that decorated your face fell fast when hushed whispers filled the cafe, all because a certain someone had entered and you saw him straight away. black jeans, biker jacket and helmet in hand jungkook made his way into the cafe completely unfazed at the fact everyone was clearly looking at him and exchanging gossip in whispers

“ooh campus bad boy” taehyung teases as he turns his head back to you after turning to get a good look at him. “you know if i was girl my legs would have been spread open so fast for him”

“tae!”

“what! he’s got that mysterious ‘i could snap anyone’s neck if i wanted to’ thing going on” you shake your head at him, you weren’t going to deny he was hot but that thought would never be confessed by you to anyone. taehyung more then anyone knew why it wouldn’t, you absolutely despised jungkook. “you still can’t hate him right? that whole thing was a year ago”

“that ‘little thing’ almost cost me my place here, so yes i still hate him” last year you had the unfortunate chance of meeting jungkook, he was in the middle of an argument with some guy and a girl in the middle of campus. you were about to walk right past when a hand grabbed your arm and pulled you. you couldn’t even utter a single word as jungkook placed an arm over your shoulder, uttering that you were his girlfriend. in that instant you hair was being pulled, the girl stood next to the guy jungkook was arguing with had a fist full of it as she dragged you around. it was a natural reaction for you to fight back, but that decision had you almost kicked of college.

“did you ever ask him why? maybe he had a good reason” you almost scoffed at this, it didn’t matter to you what his reasoning was, he pulled you into that mess without a single thought of the repercussions- to you? he was the devil

“i would rather not speak to him, then and now”

“ouch, iam almost hurt” the voice made you grimace as you turned in your chair to see the man in question staring down at you, stupid grin upon his face

“good, i’ll try harder next time” it annoyed you even more that he decided to take a seat next to you, taehyung eyeing the interaction carefully. jungkook was a lose canon, rumours around campus were that he got into fights all the time and could possibly even be in the mafia- obviously the latter wasn’t true.

“now why would you want to hurt me?” the grin on his face never left, pissing you off more. who even invited him to come over and join you?

“what do you want?” what was more frustrating then anything was since that incident last year, jungkook never left you alone. you didn’t know if was guilt from pulling you into the fight or it was if he got enjoyment out of pissing you off. you leaned towards the second explanation

“who’s says i want something? maybe i just want to look at your pretty face?” the sound of taehyung choking on his tea interrupted your snarky reply, jungkook patted his back as your friend let out a ‘thank you’ between his choking

“are you done now? don’t you have someone to go beat up or threaten?” jungkook looked at you with nothing but amusement behind his big eyes, truth was he found it entertaining to talk to you. on campus no one seemed to want to be within a two metre radius of him, of course he understood why. everyone by now has probably seen him in a fist fight with how often he managed to get into trouble, anyone who has been to a campus party for sure had seen him punch someone- it somehow happened everytime he went to one. so with that in mind, people avoided him and you were on that list but it was different with you. unlike anyone else, you talked harshly to him. he enjoyed bantering with you because you were the only one to actually talk back to him.

“hm maybe, but i’d much rather sit here with you” rolling your eyes you stand up, jungkook immediately following your actions like a little shadow.

“i would rather shove a pine cone up my ass then sit here with you”

“well if we’re shoving things up you-”

“don’t! even finish that sentence jeon” you seethe but the man only laughs, throwing his hands up in surrender. taehyung couldn’t even say a word as he watched on, he didn’t know how you had the balls to even talk to him. “iam going, see you around tae” with that you walked off, not even bothering to say goodbye to jungkook because of course he was already following you out of the cafe. he was persistent, you’ll give him that.

“why you walking so fast baby got somewhere to be?” he calls out, jogging slightly to catch up with you, which didn’t take him long

“yeah, far away from you” jungkook only chuckles as he walks next to you, the pair of you were oblivious to the fact that everyone was stepping out of the way to make sure there wasn’t a possibility of getting into jungkook’s path

“you’re too sweet” side eyeing him you fail to see a guy heading straight for you until he’s bumped into your shoulder, halting your walking as your hand flies to where his body hit yours “hey!” jungkook had the mystery man in his grasp so fast you don’t know how he did it. his hands held on tight to the mans shirt and the fear was evident in the strangers eyes once he saw who was holding onto him “watch where you’re fucking going motherfucker!” you were very much aware of the eyes staring at the scene unfolding, you felt sorry for the poor guy in jungkook’s grip.

“iam sorry i-”

“why you apologising to me you stupid fuck? you hit into her!” god you were getting so embarrassed, the guy only bumped into you by mistake jungkook was acting like the man punched you square in the face. although you had to admit you heart picked up a little at his defence of you

“jungkook! enough!” he gave the guy a final look before pushing him away and as soon as he did you stalked away, not wanting to be anywhere near the scene. you could hear the stomps of the boots jungkook was wearing as he ran to catch up

“you okay?” you huff, ignoring him, as you continue walking “iam being serious” suddenly he’s holding onto your wrist, preventing you from walking “stop being stubborn and tell me if your hurt y/n” for a moment, as you turn to him, you see a look in his eyes, concern?

“iam fine jungkook stop being dramatic” the man nodded, content with your answer as he lets go of your wrist and places his hands upon your shoulders as he looks over you. standing there you grow annoyed as it seems he’s checking you over, you really couldn’t deal with how dramatic he was being. “happy? because iam leaving now” with that you walk off and this time he doesn’t follow

“see you around sweetheart!” you groan as you hear him shout across the campus yard, a bunch of eyes once again staring out you.

“y/n i need you!” you sigh deeply as you listen to taehyung’s wails down the phone. of course he was calling you at 3am, obviously at that party he invited you to the day prior. really you couldn’t be surprised, this happened everytime but normally it happened earlier on in the night.

“where iam i getting you from this time tae?” all you could hear down the line was a bunch of muffled noise and chatter, but you stayed calm waiting for his reply

“jimin’s place p-please come get me” you almost wanted to laugh at his slurring but you just told him you were on your way, knowing exactly where jimin lived. he was known for his parties, always hosting one at least once a week. with a short five minute drive later you pulled up to your destination, the sight of your best friend hunched over on the sidewalk outside the house was what greeted you. chuckling, you turned off the engine and took off your belt before getting out the car. the sound of the door shutting alerted him and he looks up slowly

“y/n! thank god how did you know i was here?!” crossing your arms you looked down at him, amused at just how drunk he had gotten himself this time

“iam psychic now come on, let’s get you home” with that you bent down to wrap his arm around your shoulders but as you try to stand he doesn’t budge leaving you to fall back onto your ass “don’t fucking dead weight me tae” you huff going to lift him again but were surprised how easily he lifted this time

“need some help?” the voice made you look up quickly, seeing jungkook holding your friends other arm- thats why he was easy to lift

“not from you” you managed to get out as taehyung began to stumble around, honestly you didn’t know why you were being so hostile he was only trying to help. but it was jungkook after all, the pure sight of him just irked you.

“now was that a very nice thing to say?” before you can say anything back, suddenly jungkook has taehyung in firman lift, making you stumble for balance. “this your car right?” he asks already walking over to it, quickly you open a rear door before jungkook places taehyung back on his carefully before guiding him into the back seat. closing the door he now turns to face you, smile big upon his lips. “now you owe me favour” you look up at him, narrowing your eyes.

“i certainly do not”

“hm but you do. i just helped you so, you owe me.” you retract your head slightly when he leans down to your height to whisper “i’ll be in touch” a shiver ran down your spine as you felt his breath on your lips and you pushed him away by his chest, he barely moved but took a step anyway. “always so feisty” shaking your head you walk past him to get into the drivers seat, making sure to slam the door as you get in. you start the engine and immediately drive off, not wanting to be anywhere near jungkook. you take a quick glimpse into the mirror to see him stood there, watching your car drive off.

“y/n iam gonna be sick” taehyung’s drunk mumbling pulls you from your thoughts and you groan before reaching into your passenger seat to hand him a bowl you bought with you.

“get any on the seats and you’re dead” the bowl is snatched from your hand and immediately you hear him heaving into the bowl making you grimace. “and you wonder why i don’t go to parties” you grumble but he only continues to throw up into the bowl making you slow down the speed of the car, driving extra carefully to make sure he didn’t miss and start being sick everywhere.

“head hurting?” you looked at your best friend from across the cafe table, wanting to laugh at how ridiculous he looked. he sported a pair of shades despite the fact you were inside and his hood was covering his head.

“what do you think?” this time you did laugh, this was your treat after the hell he put you through each weekend. seeing him hungover made any trouble he put you through the night before worth it

“i inspected my car this morning, no sick so you’re safe- this time”

“yay” he lets out half heartedly and you chuckle at him, this was probably the worst you had ever seen him. you almost started to feel bad for him but remembering the smell you had to drive home in last night from the bowl of sick wipes that feeling away

“don’t forget the part i played” you closed your eyes briefly to take a deep breath as jungkook sat at the table once again, uninvited.

“you, played a part?” you couldn’t ld entirely see taehyung’s face but you could practically sense the embarrassment radiating from him

“well i did lift you into the car” looking properly at him now you see a few cuts decorating his face, clearly untreated.

“uh, thanks i guess” taehyung’s voice had an edge to his voice, like he was scared to utter a single word to jungkook in case he said something wrong.

“welcome, now sweetheart” you want to scoff at the pet name as he turns to face you “why so grouchy this morning?”

“could be something to do with your unwanted presence” the man only smiles at you, arms crossed as the leant upon the table

“now is that a way to talk to a friend?” you scowl at him, not in the mood to go back and forth with him even slightly after the lack of sleep you had

“you- are not my friend” jungkook places a hand over his heart and mocks pain while you look on, unamused

“iam just gonna go i need sleep” taehyung says making you look over at him “thanks again” he directs to jungkook before standing and leaving the cafe. you watch him go, annoyed he left you alone with jungkook

“then there were two” your eyes move back to him to be met with that annoying grin that he always seemed to be sporting. for some reason your attention goes back to the cuts on his cheeks, some were incredibly deep

“what the fuck happened to you, did you get beaten up?” the grin on his face falters slightly as one hand traces his face before he clears his throat

“why? worried about me baby?” you could see through the facade he was putting on, after a year of being annoyed by him you could just tell something was off

“you didn’t treat them did you?” this was weird territory for the pair of you, usually it was just him teasing you before leaving but now it was a real conversation and honestly you didn’t know why you were asking. but you just couldn’t help yourself, it would be upsetting to see anyone this way- right?

“didnt need to” he shrugs and his lack of care was worrying, how often had he been through something like this to just not be concerned?

“that is so stupid jungkook seriously” the look he gave you was something you’ve never seen before, the was no grin or anything. he was just staring at you, his eyes soft as he gazed at you. if this was concern you were showing him it was his first time, no one had every questioned him on his injuries after fighting in fact they probably didn’t care enough. “don’t be ignorant, if you fight you should at least take care of yourself afterwards” you didn’t wait for him to say anything else, standing you left immediately but were surprised he didn’t follow.

“sweetheart about that favour” you jumped slightly at the sudden voice, jungkook appearing from seemingly no where to sit in front of you at the college library and placing his helmet onto the table

“please, take a seat jungkook” he only smiles at you, despite your sarcasm. he seemed a bit edgy about something, his legs were bouncing causing his body to shake a little

“y/n, i seriously need your help” you never seen him so panicked before, normally he was calm and collected but now- something was definitely wrong

“and why would i do that?” it irked you that jungkook was always appearing to piss you off, your constant hostility not being enough to get him to leave you alone. and now he was asking for your help, that certainly won’t be happening

“because this is serious and only you can help me” now this was different, he was usually the one bantering with you but now he was deadly serious. “look, you have to know that i can get rowdy and maybe fight every now and then-” a scoff comes from your throat at that understatement of the century but you stay quiet to let him continue “in order to graduate i need to get extra credit, the only thing i can do is join a club and they’ll only let me join if they think iam nice and approachable”

“impossible” you did interrupt this time and you do earn a small grin from jungkook but his serious look returns in a flash

“i asked the football coach what i need to do, he said i needed to make it clear that i’ve ditched getting into fights and- settled down” you raise an eyebrow, having no idea where he was leading his little speech to

“and where do i fit in?”

“right so, i told him i was dating someone- you to be exact” your jaw dropped open slightly, you wanted to shout but you were very aware that your were in a library. “happy first day together” he was so nonchalant, completely opposite to when he started the conversation. you sat in silence, just gaping at the man sat across from you in utter disbelief.

“iam going to murder you jeon jungkook”

“hey hey, is that anyway to talk to your boyfriend?” gritting your teeth together you glare at the boy sat in front of you “look i just need you to fake date me for a little while, no big deal” his bad boy persona was starting to really grate on you- although you weren’t entirely sure it was a persona

“no big deal?! iam done with this conversation” you began to pick your things but jungkook reached to grab your hands on the table which made you stop

“y/n please, i need to graduate” for the first time you see worry upon his face as he pleaded with you and strangely you felt- bad for him? god you felt so soft, usually you were stubborn and hard headed but with him there begging you it was hard to turn him down. you knew if you were on the brink of not graduating after putting in hard work that you’d beg anyone to help you

“i can’t believe iam saying this but, fine. despite your ways i don’t think i’ve ever seen you miss a day, you deserve to graduate” jungkook was thrown off, pulling his hands from the top of yours as he looks at you. that one sentence was probably the closest thing to a “well done” he’s ever received in his life and he was stunned.

“thank you, y/n seriously” you give him a slight nod before deflating in your chair, thinking about what you had just gotten yourself into. “now for rules” at this you raised an eyebrow, it had been less then a minute since you agreed to fake date him and he’s already throwing out orders? brilliant

“rules?” he leans back in his chair, the leather of his jacket making a noise as he does so.

“i need everyone on the campus to believe i’ve settled down, so i have rules to make sure it works” rollings your eyes you lean forward, getting more annoyed at him by each passing second

“you do know that iam doing you a favour right? no need to go all alpha male on me and throw around demands, i don’t have to do this”

“you already agreed, verbal contract blah blah blah, so- my rules” you huff, it’s like every word you speak to him goes in one ear and comes shooting out the other with no processing in the middle

next

[hotch-stufff]

Kiss The Girl

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Warnings!: angst, pining(lots of it), crying, arguing, but a fluffy ending, like super fluffy ending :)

Word Count: 3.7k words

Description: Hotch tries to deny it, but he's madly in love with you. He keeps getting this urge to just kiss you. Could it really be that easy?

A/N: not really sure what this is, but I was listening to that new cover of kiss the girl by Brent Morgan and I really wanted wrote this. It definitely took a turn i was not expecting, but I hope you guys love it as much as I do. :)

*Based off the song "Kiss the Girl"*

--------------

He loved you. It was no secret.

Everyone knew, everyone except maybe him.

Or maybe he did know, but he refused to accept it. He couldn't love you. It was wrong. But if it was wrong, why on earth did it feel so good?

There, you see her, Sitting there, across the way

She don't got a lot to say, but there's something about her

He wasn't the best at sharing his feelings. He was good at locking them away, and throwing away the key. But you, you made that hard.

There was just something about you. It drew him in, and he was hooked.

Maybe it was the way you giggled when you were nervous. Or maybe it was the blush that tinted your cheeks when someone gave you a compliment. Maybe it was the way you showed Hotch the happiness he needed in his darkest times.

He wasn't sure, but he knew you were special. He was sure he knew exactly when these feelings had started. It was the night of Rossi's Christmas party.

You sat on Rossi's couch, laughing along with Morgan and Prentiss. They had made some very very inappropriate joke, that you just thought was hilarious. 

"Okay, h-hang on. I need a refill." You gasped out between laughs. You made your way to the kitchen, grabbing the wine before pouring yourself a glass.

"Hey." You nearly squealed as Hotch came in the room behind you.

"Jesus Hotch, could have given me a heart attack." He simply chuckled. "Yeah, laugh it up." You playfully rolled your eyes.

"I'm sorry." He tried to hide his smile.

"Yeah, you sound it." You walked towards him, giving him a soft smile as the teasing atmosphere faded. The room was empty, and you wouldn't be able to ever work up the courage again.

"Merry Christmas Hotch." You whispered as you leaned up, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. You pulled back, gave him a small smile, and walked back to the living room.

Aaron stood there, shocked. 

Why had you don't that? Why had he liked it? Would you do it again?

The questions repeated in his head, over and over. And he realised that a peck on the cheek wouldn't be enough. 

He needed a kiss, a real kiss. Even just one from you and he would be satisfied for life. But that, was an impossible dream. Or, so he thought.

And you don't know why, but you're dyin' to try

You wanna kiss the girl

Months had passed since then and he still hadn't gotten another kiss from you. 

You two had grown increasingly close however. You were practically inseparable. Always at one of your houses, talking, watching movies, eating. You name it.

Although watching movies was usually with Jack, and currently he was stuck on repeating the Little Mermaid.

"Miss Y/n?" He asked one night.

"Yes Jackers?" You asked, looking down at the small boy.

"Can we please, watch the little mermaid with daddy?" He begged. He used those puppy dog eyes and you were sold.

"Of course we can." You heard a chuckle come from behind you and you whipped around.

"Didn take you long to give in, huh?" Hotch questioned, a smirk playing on his lips.

"Oh shut it Hotchner. Go get the popcorn." He laughed and shook his head before walking to the kitchen.

Soon you found yourself wrapped up with the Hotcner boys. Jack was curled up on your lap, his face buried in your neck as he fell asleep.

As you and Hotch watched the movie, he snuck glances every couple of minutes. He couldn't get over how beautiful you looked. 

And you were holding his son, loving him like he could be your own. It filled Hotch's heart with love and affection.

And then that song began playing softly in the background

Yes, you want her

Look at her, you know you do

The lyrics spoke a truth that Hotch was desperately trying to avoid. 

But he didn't know how much longer he could go without telling you. In the moment he couldn't remember why he hadn't told you already.

Possible she wants you too, there is one way to ask her

It don't take a word, not a single word

Go on and kiss the girl

All he wanted to do was reach over and bring you into a kiss. Just a simple kiss. 

Just to feel your lips move together. Just for a second. He almost did. You had turned to look at him, and he leaned in slightly. His hand raising. 

But the shrill sound of his phone broke the trance. His hand receded before you could grab it. And he didn't kiss you.

You were filled with a disappointment that you couldn't explain. 

Sha-la-la-la-la-la, my, oh, my, look like the boy too shy, He ain't gonna kiss the girl

Sha-la-la-la-la-la, ain't that sad? Ain't it a shame? Too bad, He gonna miss the girl

The music of the movie faded as a grim look replaced the carefree one on Hotch's face. 

"We'll be right in." He muttered out the words with disdain, sending you an apologetic look.

But you barely noticed, you were still trying to calm down the beating of your heart.

He was going to kiss you.

Did he feel the same way that you did?

All thoughts left your mind though as you felt Jack wake in your arms.

"Hey buddy." He looked up at you with the eyes he shared with his father.

"Do you have to leave?" Your heart broke a little bit at his questions.

"Yeah, bud. I'm sorry." He just smiled at you and burrows further into your chest.

"Its 'kay." He mumbled sleepily. "But we have to wait till Aunt Jess gets here so we can keep cuddling." Your heart swelled and your face lit up. Hotch was staring at the two of you, in awe. His son loved you so much. 

You looked over at him, a tear in your eye. He swallowed as he pushed his feelings aside, giving you a soft smile before getting up to get dressed.

He was screwed.

A couple cases later, and you were holed up in a precinct, everyone nearly falling asleep.

It was a bad case, a really bad case. And you were running out of time. The unsubs' latest victim only had about a day left.

But nobody could work if they were falling asleep. Eventually Hotch sighed and told everyone it was time to head to the hotel.

But of course, once there, there were only 4 rooms.

"I'm taking my own room. I'm old." Rossi said and grabbed the key before anyone could argue.

"C'mon pretty boy." Morgan grabbed another key, and walked off with spence.

"I'll go with Jj. Y/l/n, you good with Hotch?" Your face went bright red at Prentiss's words. But you nodded, looking anywhere but at Hotch. You couldn't say no, it would be too obvious.

"Y-yeah, that's fine." You all trudged to the elevator, Emily and Jj said goodnight and walked off once you reached your floor. You and Hotch walked in silence down the hall to the very last room.

He swung the door open, and you had to stop yourself from gasping. There was only one bed.

"I'll uh, I'll take the floor." You scrunched your nose at Hotch's offer and he couldn't deny how adorable you looked.

"Hotch, no. That will kill your back." You shook your head. "We can share. We're both adults, it's fine." You're not sure if you're convincing yourself or him. He just nods and gives a soft okay.

"Do you want the first shower?" He asked. 

"Um, no. I shower in the mornings." He nodded before walking into the bathroom.

Why was this so awkward? You guys were such good friends, this shouldn't be so weird. 

You pushed the thought aside before crawling into the bed and curling up.

Hotch walked out of the bathroom 10 minutes later in nothing but a towel.

Your eyes grew and you couldn't take your eyes off of him. He cleared his throat, and you looked up at his eyes.

"Uh sorry, forgot my bag." You nodded, looking away quickly. Too scared to speak. He quickly went back into the bathroom.

"Get a hold of yourself." You whispered to yourself. You weren't going to survive this case if he did that again. He joined you in bed soon after getting dressed.

Neither of you spoke, neither of you moved, neither of you breathed. It was completely silent.

After about 20 minutes of silence and trying desperately to fall asleep you spoke up.

"Hotch?" 

"Yeah?" His voice was hoarse.

"Um, I can't sleep." You turned towards him and he did the same.

"Neither can I." You sighed.

"How's Jack?" You asked, trying to bring up the mood, or to at least get rid of the awkwardness. It seemed to work because his face lit up at the mention of his son.

"He's good. He actually just asked if you could come over soon. He got an A plus on his spelling test that you helped him study for and he really wants to show you." You smiled as you listened.

"That's great! He was so nervous for that test." 

"Yeah, thank you Y/n for helping him." You grabbed his hand, squeezing gently.

"Of course Hotch. I love Jack." You muttered, and you fell into silence again.

But it was more content, more peaceful. Your hands stayed laced together, and Hotch's mind went blank as you started leaning closer.

Now's your moment

Floating in a blue lagoon

Boy, you better do it soon, no time will be better

He started leaning in, his hand moved from your own to cup your face. But something switched in his mind. What was he doing? This was wrong. He couldn't let this happen. 

Your faces were inches apart when he pulled his hand away and scooted backwards slightly.

Look like the boy too shy

He ain't gonna kiss the girl

Your face fell, and his heart squeezed painfully.

"Um, we should go to bed." You were so confused. You thought that was it. It was perfect. He, he pulled away though. Why had he pulled away?

You could almost physically see his walls being built up.

Walls you had spent so much time breaking down.

"Oh, um. O-okay." You stuttered out, pulling back  quickly.

"Goodnight Y/n." He said softly, but you didn't respond. You were too scared you would cry if you did. 

You fell asleep faster than you anticipated, but maybe you were just that tired. 

He was gone when you woke up.

You thought everything might just go back to the way it was after that night.

But boy were you wrong. Hotch had completely pulled away from you.

No longer did he invite you over, or invite you to do paperwork in his office with him

You didn't watch movies, or go out to eat, or even talk about anything other than work. It was hell.

You tried, you really tried to get him to open up again, but it just didn't work. Nothing did.

It was to the point where he would be almost rude to you. 

The team was beginning to notice. And you couldn't hold back any longer. It was killing you.

You needed to talk to him, past this wall he had put up. You needed to know why he was pushing you away. You walked up to his door, knocking on the door.

"Come in." He said softly. You walked in, and his eyes stayed trained on the paperwork in front of him.

"Hotch?" He still didn't look up.

"How can I help you Agent Y/l/n?" He asked, his voice not wavering from professionalism. You shut the door behind you and walked forward, sitting in one of the chairs.

"We need to talk." He was taken aback slightly by the determination in your voice, but he sighed before setting down his pen.

"What is it?" He sounded almost annoyed, which just made you angrier.

"What the hell is going on?" You didn't mean to be so rude about it, but you needed to know.

"Excuse me?" 

"Seriously Hotch, we went from talking almost every day, to not speaking unless it has something to do with work."

"Y/l/n…" he went to stop you.

"No. Hotch please. I don't know what I did." You begged. "I mean you can't even use my name anymore." You whispered.

"This is very unprofessional." he wasn't breaking.

"Please Aaron. Don't lie to me." You tried his first name, and he had never loved his name being spoken more than when you said it. But he had to stop this.

"Agent Y/l/n. I'm sorry if our friendship was confus-" but you cut him off.

"We weren't just friends. You know that and I know that." He had the audacity to look confused. But he knew exactly what you were talking about.

Don't try to hide it how, You wanna kiss the girl

"Please Aaron, don't pretend, not with me."

"Agent Y/l/n! That's enough!" His voice was rising. 

He didn't understand why you couldn't just let it go.

"No it's not. I love you Aaron, I'm sorry. But I do. And it hurts so much that you are pushing me away!" Your eyes filled with tears and Hotch stood there, awed that you felt this way. But he couldn't let you in. So he took that final heartbreaking step.

"I don't love you." He whispered out. You had been standing and you took a staggering step backwards. 

"What?" Your voice was small.

"I don't love you Y/n." The lie was tearing him apart. Why was he doing this again?

Tears began falling down your face. You were upset and mad and heartbroken. And you were embarrassed that this man had this much of a hold on you.

"Fine." You sniffed. "If that's how you feel Agent Hotchner." He missed the way you said Aaron and flinched at the formal title. But this was what he wanted. "I apologize for the unprofessionalism." You turned to leave, but stopped when he spoke.

"Y/n…" His voice was small, strained. You wiped away your tears. When you looked back, his eyes were glossy.

But he didn't say anything else and you kept walking, slamming the door behind you. The bullpen silenced and everyone stared at you.

It was humiliating, but you walked to Rossi's office, your head held high.

"Rossi?" 

"Y/l/n, what's wrong?" He asked, like he hadn't heard the conversation through his shared wall with Hotch. 

"Can you please tell Hotch that I'm sick and I won't be in for a while?" Your voice wavered slightly, but you ignored it.

"Y/n-" he started, but you didn't feel like talking.

"Please Rossi?" You begged, praying he would just say yes so you could leave.

"Yes, of course." You nodded and thanked him before leaving. You slipped down to your desk and grabbed your bag. 

You didn't see Hotch standing in the doorway of his office, watching you as you left, tears silently slipping down your face.

Your teammates asked what was happening, but you just waved them off and left.

They all turned to Hotch, but he was already back in his office, his door slamming for the second time that day.

You wanna kiss the girl

A week passed, and you hadn't come back to work yet. Hotch wasn't sure what to do with himself. He hated what he did.

The team was confused, Rossi kept sending him angry glances, and your empty desk was haunting him.

And then, Jack asked that question. The question that broke him just a little more.

"Why doesn't Miss Y/n come over anymore daddy?" He had asked one night at dinner.

He didn't know how to answer. "Does she not love us anymore?" His eyes were big and glossy like he was going to cry. He decided not to lie to his son.

"Daddy made a mistake and Miss Y/n is just a little sad right now." Jack didn't understand what was happening, but he wanted to help fix it. His dad had been so sad these past couple of weeks and it made him sad. 

"Daddy, you have to say sorry! And you have to do what the song says!" Hotch looked at his son confused. What song?

"What song buddy?" He asked, pulling his son into his lap.

"You know, you have to kiss the girl!" He giggled like it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"The little mermaid song?" He asked, smiling at his son's innocence. 

"Yes, remember, you and Y/n were sitting on the couch before you left for work, and you were going to kiss her!" Hotch looks shocked, Jack was awake for that?

"Um, buddy. Me and Y/n aren't together." He sighed as his son deflated.

"But why? You love her. And she loves you." He spoke, confused as to what was happening.

"Um.." Hotch drew a blank. He couldn't give this little boy an answer. Not when it was his fault. Not when he was the one that had said no. 

It was a mistake, a huge mistake. He should have just told you.  Why hadn't he?

He should have kissed you.

The first time, or the second time. He should have told you that he loved you too. Was it too late? 

"Um, buddy, you know what? It's time for bed." Hotch put his son to sleep and called Rossi, asking him to come over.

He prayed he wasn't too late. Rossi showed up at his door 20 minutes later.

"Hotch-" but he knew.

"I know, I'm an idiot. But I have to go tell her I love her too." He was rushing, grabbing his keys.

"Atta boy Aaron." Was all Rossi said as Hotch ran out the door, jumping in his car.

He was sure he was going faster than the speed limit, but he couldn't care less. He needed to see you, and to be with you. To tell you that he loved you.

His car was barely parked when he jumped out and ran up to your door, banging on it.

You heard the noise wondering who would come over so late. You were shocked to find Hotch there as you opened the door.

There, you see her, Sitting there, across the way

She don't got a lot to say, but there's something about her

"Y/n." Was all he said. You slammed the door in his face.  He began banging his fist in the door and you threw it open, again.

"Leave Hotch." 

"Please, Y/n, just hear me out." He begged. You hesitated, but moved to the side letting him in. You shut the door softly.

Yes, you want her, Look at her, you know you do

Possible she wants you too, there is one way to ask her

"What do you want, Hotch? What more could you possibly want?" He shook his head, holding his tears at bay.

"Aaron." He spoke quietly.

"What?" 

"Please, it's Aaron." 

"Agent Hotchner. You need to leave." But he didn't leave. He stood there and stared at you. 

"I'm so sorry Y/n." 

"Hotch, seriously, I can't do this. I can't." You tried to keep those tears in, you were tired of crying over him, but there was no point. You felt then slip down your face.

Words weren't working, he had already said enough. But he remembered Jacks words. 

The song.

Now's your moment, Boy, you better do it soon, no time will be better

She don't say a word and she won't say a word, Until you kiss the girl

He stepped forward and brought his hand up to your face. He leaned in slowly, and brought your lips to his. 

Your heart stopped, and you kissed him back desperately. You had wanted this for so long. You had waited for so. Damn. Long.

"Your so stupid." You murmured against his lips. He pulled away gasping for air.

"I know" his voice was beautiful.

You've gotta kiss the girl, Go on and kiss the girl

He leaned in again, kissing you like his life depended on it. He gently ran his thumb across your cheek as he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you forward. He broke away a moment later.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I was an idiot. I love you." A tear escaped his eye, and you brushed it away. "I dont expect you to forgive me. I wouldn't forgive me if I was you. I was awful, and I never should have lied and said I didn't love you too. I shouldn't have pushed you away."

"Why did you?" He hesitated, he wasn't sure you would understand.

"The last time I let someone in my heart, she left. And then she got hurt because of me. I couldn't risk that happening to you." He shook his head.

"Oh Aaron. I'm not leaving. I don't ever want to leave you. I love you too much to leave." You paused. "And you can't hide and be scared to open your heart. Its okay to let people in." You added softly and he gave you a smile.

You both stood there in blissful peace, your foreheads touching. He chuckled and you looked at him confused.

"What?"

"I kissed the girl." You just grew more confused.

"What are you talking about?" You asked humor in your voice.

"The song. Jack said I had to do what the little mermaid song said." You understood then and began giggling. 

"Maybe, maybe you should do it again." You suggested, a smile on your face.

"Hmm, maybe I should." And he leaned in again for another breathtaking kiss.

.....................

"And that is how me and your dad got together." Your three kids sat in front of you listening in awe. 

"Wow, so Jack is why he finally told you he loved you?" Your middle child, Tommy asked. Jack laughed as he stood up, tapping your shoulder as he towered over you. 

"You could say that." Aaron said from the doorway, you turned, smiling at your husband. 

"Yeah, sure." You giggled and ruffled Jack's hair as you picked up your nine year old daughter, Jenna. Who, in all honesty, was almost too big to be picked up.

"Mommy, can you tell us that story every night?" She asked, and you smiled. 

"Of course I can sweat pea. But now, its bed time." You tucked in your kids, giving them each a kiss on the forehead before joining your husband in your room.

You plopped on the bed and curled up into his side.

"Hi sweetheart." He greeted you with a kiss, and he pulled you into his side. "You know, you didn't need to make me sound so…" he couldn't quite find the word.

"Stupid? Clueless? Dumb?" You asked, giggling as he began digging his fingers into your side, tickling you. 

"St-stop. Aaron!" You shrieked and he let up, but not before plopping on top of you. He began peppering kisses all over your face.

"I'm glad you finally told that story. Jenna has been begging for weeks" Your youngest had watched the little mermaid a couple of weeks ago and Jack had made a comment about one of the songs. Jenna had heard one word and was begging for us to tell her our "falling in love story", as she put it. 

You had finally given in and told them, and they had loved every moment of it. Jack of course had already known, having witnessed it. 

But Jenna and Tommy had loved hearing how their parents had fallen in love. 

And a week later when you walked in the living room you were filled with a sense of nostalgia as you saw Jack with Jenna in his lap, as Tommy and Aaron sat on the couch next to them. Watching, of course, the little mermaid. You plopped next to Aaron, smiling. 

As Kiss The Girl started playing.

--------------

Thanks for reading! Requests are still open, so ask away! If you would like an idea of what to request, here is my prompt list, and if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.

[sweettodo]

Promiscuous.

⟿ Levi Ackerman x freader x Eren Jaeger

Includes : threesome, swearing, smut.

word count : 4,5k.

for 300 followers, i promised i would bless you all with a few stories. this was a tough plot to come up with b/c the age difference, but i always come thru :)). enjoy. thank you for 300 friends, readers, and fans. one more story on the way, hope you like !!

Being in the scouts wasn't necessarily all that bad, especially when you had all the strong, agile men to look at all day long.

You didn't bite your tongue, the gushy, teenage girl flirtatiousness that you bestowed upon not one, not two, but a good sum of the boys you worked and trained with every day. Most of whom were your closest friends, who put up with your promiscuousness. For the most part, they fed into it, reciprocating the behavior. But it couldn't be avoided that you took a special liking towards your Captain; Mr. Ackerman himself.

Call it unnatural, call it unusual, but you had a justification for liking him so much. If he said the right thing in the right context, your knees would be shaky and weak, for instance, when he demanded you to 'shut up' half-jokingly for fooling around with Connie too much. You left training that day with a waterfall between your legs, leaving you stunned for at least a week.

The ideas in your head were endless and slightly disturbing. There was no denying you were captivated by him, and he knew it.

Not to mention he took a fondness to you too...

Well, not how you quite anticipated him too. He just believed you were a capable scout, thus him taking you under his wing with your friends. Leaving aside your whorish comments. He took your ignorant attitude with a grain of salt, not allotting you the time of the day- which only made it more of a challenge to get what you yearned much for.

He would scoff, walk away and roll his eyes, reprimanding you on behaving yourself and acting your age. You were 19, you were acting your age, 'I could be worse,' you mumbled under your breath.

Being the species of girl who was drawn to a particular type of man, power play, that sharp attitude which one with a level head and a drop of common sense would take as a definite red flag, the type of man that would punish you for being horny or bratty- you could only dream- it was also clear you couldn't bluff and say that you didn't favor the infamous Eren Jaeger: the strong-willed, wild, dominant and overbearing youthful man. He could command you to get on your knees, and you would in a flash.

Alas, you would not be seeing the pearly gates with what went through your mind about the long-haired, tall, demanding man. On the plus side-unlike Levi- Eren enjoyed the attention you gave him, he played the game with you.

And he played the game good- you liked it.

On numerous occasions, you would be more than touchy with Eren, the little 'not so serious' back rub, or a hand on his thigh under the table to make him hot and bothered. And once or twice, the rare make-out session in an alleyway while your friends shopped or by the stable of horses one time when you were sixteen. Though the sexual tension grew once you turned eighteen when you two were less apt to get in trouble for your conduct- yet you never took it all the way, liking the idea of having him on his toes every time he saw you.

Anyways, today was different than most days, you all were honored with a few days of relaxing, sleeping in, and extra time to eat and shower with no training, or missions.

Appreciating the peace, you lay in your bed buried under the blankets half asleep, taking in the unusual time of relaxation. While nearing slumber again, you're rudely interrupted. A pounding on your door riddles throughout your body, frightening you half to death, you flinch, sitting up in an instant.

"Food! y/n." oh, it was Connie.

You untangle from the blankets, sauntering to your wardrobe, and pulling out a regular old white shirt with shorts. The heat was not something to take lightly around here, you could collapse and suffer from a heat stroke if you weren't careful, so you rolled up your shorts a little and slipped on shoes, taming your hair and heading out of your messy room towards the mess hall, eyes finding your friends and groggily plunging into the bench besides Eren and your other buddies, "sleep well?" Connie laughs, you scowl at him.

"Yea! I was dreamin' about you too! Too bad you ruined it, I was just getting to the good part."

Connie laughs and shakes his head, shoveling food down into his mouth, "I don't even wanna know what that dream was about." Jean grumbles, ruffling his hair to remove it from his clammy forehead; Jean was a difficult one to crack, he usually blushed and would cut your trifling demeanor right off at the knees, he was more for Mikasa's quiet and ethical personality.

"Shut it Kirstein- I do!" Connie protests, you wink at him.

"I'll tell you when I get you alone, how 'bout that Springer?"

Eren could be heard from your left, snorting, you glance over and see his arm raise and head towards your back, yanking your bra and snapping it back against your skin, you unleash an 'ouch' and attempt to reach back and rub the area, "White shirt with a red bra underneath? Who're you tryna' impress?" You shrug.

"Captain, of course."

"More like you dressed in the dark this morning." Eren bullies.

"Captain, what?" Connie and Sasha childishly roll and bounce around in their seats, bellowing laughter while you slowly turn around to face your boss, he reiterates one more time before you chuckle and scratch the back of your neck.

"Talking about how good my boss looks today," the words that roll off your tongue make The tense up and sigh in annoyance, beginning to walk away, you pout, tilting your head, "am I wrong?"

"Keep it up, y/n, I'll have you in a cell indefinitely if you continue this adolescent behavior." He doesn't look twice at you, leaving as quickly as he came. Halting your comments right as they came flying out of your mouth, he had to have been enjoying them! Perhaps a little.

Right as the man in charge begins to leave the hall, he stops, peers his head over to meet your eyes.

"-In chains." Your eyes widen, a perverted grin growing onto your face, looking left to right baffled, 'in chains?' gawking to see if any of your friends noticed the innuendo, but it seemed they were well absorbed in their own business.

But someone heard him.

"In chains?"

You look at Eren, he shared the same shock as you, you wriggle your eyebrows and nudge his side, "I'm not the only one who heard it, so maybe I'm not going crazy." You giggle, finishing your meal and gossiping amongst your friends until it was time to go.

To pass time during the day, you all wasted hours cleaning up to your captain's expectations, finally relieving yourselves for the rest of the evening before dinner; walking down the streets of your town, stopping at the shops down the gravel streets. While everyone talks, your head is elsewhere; replaying that remark Levi made about the chains, borderline obsessing over it- rightfully so.

When he said the word 'chains', you instantly recalled the context behind his innuendo, unless you were going insane, but you had made a joke- your first endeavor at flirting with your boss, mentioning to him using the same chains he used on Eren in court a few years back, your friends condemning your extraverted behavior on the spot; when to no avail, Levi did not feed into that well, sending you to isolation shortly after. And then to Erwin's office to explain yourself... in front of him, Commander Hange, and Levi. Nonetheless, it didn't stop you from toying with the man.

You were somewhat... wild.

Enjoying the rest of your stress-free hours, you spend the evening sitting comfortably in the large common area after dinner; all of you except Eren, who didn't appear at dinner either. God knows where he was.

You lounge beside Armin and Jean, your head on Jean's shoulder per-usual.

"Jean, has Mikasa told you how good you look today?" You hum, his face is instantly soaked up in a rosy flush as he throws his hands over his ears to block your weird comments from reaching his ears, "Mikasa?" you quirk an eyebrow.

"Don't be absurd, y/n" she laughs, "Jean, don't listen to her."

"Jean, you look extra good today," you lean over closer to him, "just thought I'd tell ya'."

"Yeah, yeah." He cracks a small smile, you pat his shoulder then fall back into your seat.

"Awh- c'mon Kirstein, you know I-"

"Y/n, Captain needs to see you..." Eren's voice interrupts the chatting, his head peers into the room, you and your friends falling silent.

"You're probably in trouble again." Armin sighs disappointingly. You promptly stand, "good luck." dragging your feet towards your supposed 'escort', Meeting Eren at the door frame of the corridor, his hands stuffed in his pockets with a deadpan look, watching you begin to take lead ahead of him, "how do you know Levi wants to see me?" You question, examining him whilst walking through the hallways, up the stairs, and around the corner, a few feet away from your Captain's headquarters.

"We talked."

With an uncertain look on your face, churning with turmoil, Eren is knocking once, then twice before pushing open the engraved wooden door, 'Captain didn't even ask who it was at the door-' you furrow your eyebrows, his hand on your back, quickly whisking you into the large room, abruptly stopping in front of his desk.

Your feet are glued to the floor while Eren is closing the door. Levi stands there, propped up against his desk with his arms crossed. The room was eerily silent, you were becoming slightly intimidated. Do you stand? Talk? Sit?

The silence was unbearable.

"Do you need me-"

"I'm fed up, with your manner, cadet." Levi interrupts.

"If I may- Captain," He nods for you to proceed, "why is Eren here?" Captain was very much capable of taking care of reprimanding you on his own, you were almost irritated that Eren was lingering behind you, feeling his eyes burning voids in the back of your head, disrespectfully.

"Isn't that what you want?" Eyes doubling in size, you swerve your head to attempt and get a view of Eren, but Levi halts you once more, treading closer to you so you can look at him, "you don't need to look at Eren."

"I- I don't quite understand."

No one says anything. The air is now thick, more difficult to swallow for oxygen, you were entirely thrown off track with the way he was speaking to you, the way he was looking at you made you want to make a run for it, "Cat got your tongue? Y/n?" Chills rake up and down your body when you feel Eren's breath on your neck, sending your head flying behind you to see the blue-eyed devil almost pressed against your back, you look back at Levi frantically.

"Sit."

Without pause, your ass is planted into one of his chairs, "why aren't you being stubborn? Where's that attitude that constantly gets you into trouble?" Feeling as if you're shrinking, the two men are overlooking you, "go on."

"I- well,"

"She has nothing to say for herself, Cap." Eren looks at Levi, "told you she was all talk." He jabs, were you dreaming?

Your heart thumped out of your chest, you never dreamed of Levi taking it this far, especially when he was so professional... "y/n," Levi's finger touches underneath your chin, raising your head to look at the two men, "always teasing me when you do the same to Eren, so slutty, don't you think, cadet?"

Your mouth drops open at his use of words, finally- the game caught up to you, and you were facing the repercussions, "don't be all shy now."

"I'm not-"

"Then if you're not shy, get on your knees and show us how much you’ve wanted us.”

You hesitate to move, but eventually find yourself slowly sliding out of the chair and onto your knees, "not in my office, go in my room." Eren grabs your arm, walking towards his adjoining room, Levi opens the door and permits you to be ushered in by both him and Eren; Eren grabs you by the hair and directs you back onto your knees in front of your captain's bed, "she's so compliant now that she knows we aren't joking anymore," Levi scoffs, standing behind you while Eren is unbuttoning his jeans right in front of your eyes, a combination of anxiousness and warmth growing in the pit of your gut, looking up at him through your eyelashes, licking across your bottom lip hungrily.

"Be a good girl and open for Eren," Levi bunches up your hair from behind, removing it from around your face.

"Yes sir."

Sticking out your tongue, you try to relax your throat once seeing the size of the man, Levi's grip on your hair prevents you from getting a good look at it before his cock is nudging gently into your mouth, down your tongue, and to the back of your throat, fastening your lips around the base of his cock whilst swirling your tongue when he pulls out of your throat, groaning when your tongue works him with ease.

"So good," He hums, grabbing the sides of your face, Levi drops your hair from his hold so Eren can pick up his pace, using his hands to guide you; gagging and choking while he fucks your throat, saliva dripping down your chin, at the verge of tears, you take his length as far as you can manage. Eren grunting and huffing; only throbbing more when he sees the little tears drip down your cheeks. He heaves out of you, your tongue lolled out while strings of spit follow his cock, the men are astonished at the sight of you gasping for air, but they weren't going to tell you that.

"Are you gonna be good for me and our captain, princess?" Eren crouches down to meet your eyes, clever smile on his face, you nod and he stands you up by your armpit.

You had virtually no control over yourself, they were moving you to where they saw fit; right on your hands and knees into the soft plush sheets, "what do you want, y/n?" you listen from behind you, your head is yanked backward, Levi is there, his free hand wrapped around your jugular loosely, his shirt unbuttoned.

"I want you both to fuck me," you gasp out, they both snicker at you.

"Too easy, way too easy, such a fuckin' whore, imagine wanting both of us," Eren taunts, snatching your shorts down to your knees and lifting your shirt to grab onto the thin waistband of your underwear, "you want Jean to fuck you too? Got any other favorites?" Levi shoves you back onto the mattress, your arms catching you while Levi continues to remove your shorts from your knees, tossing them on the floor, rough hands caressing and pulling apart your ass, both men watch your panties slip in the separated cave of your ass, Eren pulling off your shirt and unclasping your bra.

"N-o, only you guys."

"Who do you want more? Me or your other little fucktoy?" Levi sneers, moving to your front, once again lifting you by your chin, keeping you still while Eren rubs his fingers against the soaked cloth. Pulling upwards against your cunt, the pressure making your clit spasm and scream for the touch of his actual fingers, looking desperate and hungry at your captain.

"I- I can't choose."

Your chest rising and falling, Eren is finally relieving you from your panties, fingers instantly meeting your folds and slipping past your entrance with his two fingers, you whine, eyes rolling to the back of your head, knuckles curving downwards to hook into you and find your sweet spots.

"Well aren't you lucky, you get both of us, even though you don't deserve it," Your captain smirks, getting on his knees, fiddling with the button of his slacks, zipping them down and pushing them past his thighs, "I think she needs to beg for it." He looks at Eren, his erection making itself known from beneath his boxers, fingers quickly scissoring the roots of your hair while he frees himself from his constraints.

"I wanna be your slut- please make me cum." They smile, pleased with your submissiveness.

Cock spilling with precum, he scooches towards your salivating mouth and holds your level to his cock, centimeters away, "so fuckin' wet, can't say I'm surprised you get off to this." Eren's tip rubbing between your folds, collecting the slick that was seeping from your hungry pussy. He pushes into you while Levi is pushing into your mouth, both holes becoming occupied by their pulsating cocks; they longed to fill you up, the torturous teasing you put them through the second you turned eighteen was bound to make them snap- you didn't know what you expected, to be honest, you asked for this.

Eren fucks you slow, savoring the feeling of you clench and suck him in further, pussy stretching from the sheer size of him, veins from the base of his cock hitting and rubbing against the very nerves that were screaming for him to go faster.

Levi fucks deep into your throat, he was about Eren's size, perhaps a little thinner, but he was no match for your throat, choking up the spit from past your throat to lube his cock further. You bring your hand up to assist you, twisting your hand back and forth- up and down while you stimulated his sensitive tip with your tongue, hollowing out your cheeks to suck him back in and repeat.

He was becoming unkempt, his mouth ajar with little moans slipping past his lips, hair dangling in front of the sides of his face while his hips bucked back and forth into the depths of your cave.

"My God, so wet."

You moaned against Levi's cock, Eren speeding up and reaching your cervix, your juices slushing and pussy squeaking while he stretches you out. When his hips connected to your backside, you only want to shrivel up more from the pace he was hitting the hole of your tight cervix. Initially, it hurt, but almost instantly it began to feel pleasurable for both you and Eren, he was reaching great lengths inside of you. He's always wanted to fuck you; almost disappointed in himself that he didn't do this before.

"Taking me so well, I can barely fit," he grunts, "you like my cock y/n? Isn't this what you wanted with your bullshit teasing?" he smacks your ass, crying out, his hips jutting back and forth against you mercilessly, sending jolts into every bone of your body.

He slaps you again, your right ass cheeks burning and tingling from the strength of his slap, "fuckin' slut, better be quiet."

Levi pulls out of your throat, finally able to audible out the loud weeps and cries, he throws his hand over your mouth, "shut up before you get us caught."

"Fuck, Eren!" you wail, ignoring Levis commands, gasps and moans fly around the room, his cock filling you perfectly to the point where you felt like you were made to shape him.

"Open." his hand is forcing your jaw open, sticking your panties into your mouth to silence you. You cry into the fabric, the coil twirling up in your stomach, clenching your walls while he drills into you, his cock rubbing against your g-spot, sending you into a frenzy.

Levi fists his cock for the time being while Eren is chasing his orgasm, knocking into you- inching you towards your orgasm. The back of your head tingling, your pussy twitching, and your stomach tightening, the room spiraling around you while you drop your head into the mattress, eyes screwed shut; Eren tearing an earth-shattering orgasm out of your body.

You see stars and a bright white consumes you, hands reaching to grasp anything, finding Levi's bicep and digging your nails into his skin for support while Eren's cock bathes in your cum, his hands pressing into the small of your back, "'boutta cum, right in this pretty little pussy." He spits, pinning your back to a better arch, you cry into the sheets when Erens thrusts loosen a little, sporadic and stabbing thrusts until he's panting and dumping a large load of his seed into your cunt, letting out moans and swears of approval. Your body convulsing, wanting to collapse.

Erin's lightheaded, dizzy and sweating, little bangs and baby hairs sticking to his soaked face, watching your cum drip down your thighs, the wetness from your pussy which had soaked his stomach, it was a fucking mess.

Everywhere.

He pulls out of you, your cream coating his cock; snatching a shirt and wiping himself clean, hiking up his boxers, "you're not done. On your back, now."

Without warning nor regard, you're pushed forward into Levi's hands by Eren to get you moving quicker; you slide onto your back, Levi takes charge and steps off the bed, hauling you by the thighs until you're at the edge of the bed, Levi pressing his hands under your thighs, holding them up and letting his cock slap against your cum-filled cunt, biting onto his bottom lip, teasing his cock into you.

He leans down, taking out the pair of underwear from your mouth, "keep quiet, understood?"

Quickly nodding and bracing yourself, happy to feel warm again.

"Did Eren fill you good?" he asks calmly, you nod.

"Yes- Levi."

Levi halts mid-thrust, peeved look on his face, "yes what, y/n?" you swallow hard, throat dry from the cloth.

"Y-yes Captain, he did." You mewl, he nods once before finishing his thrust.

"This pussy is so tight, even after he stretched you out like this?" he huffs, head dipped down- eyes filed to your pussy sucking in his cock so well; hair flopping back and forth, "I told you I was gonna do something about that mouth of yours, didn't I?"

"Y-you did, sir." You wail.

Levi didn't hold back, each of his sharp thrusts made you more tender inside, little cries fall from your swollen lips while Eren sits beside your head, big arm reaching over your face and kneading your boob, he watches them bounce slightly as Levi ruts into you. Rolling your hard erected nipple in between his fingers, "look at that face, are you gonna cum again?" you look up at Eren, who wears a smug look on his face, "are you gonna cum on Captain's cock, y/n?" you whine, trying to remain quieter under your Captain's directions.

"Gonna-" Eren's hand moves once more- over towards your clit.

This was the first time tonight you had felt this overstimulation, hissing in air and biting onto the skin of your lip, hand grasping Eren's wrist as he swirls little- yet strong circles into your clit, your mouth slacks open, “please! Feels so-" another burst of spasms erupting, thighs shaking and clenching around Levi's waist, "f-fuck me- Fuck me harder Captain, please!" You cry, walls convulsing, cum seeping out of you, down your ass and the base of his cock while he fucks you silly, Eren bringing you that much closer to a euphoric feeling again as he rubs your spasming clit.

"Yeah? You want me to fuck you like the whore you are, right?" Levi pants, cockhead rubbing against your sensitive and exhausted g-spot.

"Who can fuck you better?" Unable to audible, Eren moves faster around your num.

"Don't disobey our Captain, pretty girl- use your words." Screwing your eyes shut, the two men await your answer.

"I-I don't know- Ah!" Your back arches, core tightening for the second time tonight- body shaking as the following orgasm sends you over the moon, Eren's hand smacked over your mouth, you wail into his hand, Levi pins your legs open, leaning down to fuck into you harder, thrashing into your guts, pussy gushing around him until he is groaning and throwing his head back while he slams into you, his stomach nearly slapping against Eren's fingers, his dick twitching. His cheeks rosy and his muscles flexed.

"Fuck, so good- so tight- keep squeezing-" he breathes.

You're dazed from the rocking of his hips, he slows, catching his breath while he releases, coating your bruised walls with his cum. Your body left empty and quivering as Levi is slipping out of your cunt, Eren handing him the same shirt he used to wipe himself off with; your captain retrieving it and cleaning the amount of cum that was left on his softening dick, moving to you and carefully wiping the inside of your thighs and beaten cunt.

Catching your breath, Levi is picking his boxers up from the floor and pulling them up along with his pants, “don’t stay there forever, my sheets need to be switched.” He states, Eren reaches for your hand and helps you sit up, putting his shirt over your head and you slip through the arms, feet meeting the cold wooden floor, you attempt to stand, your knees buckling, Eren grabs you by the tricep before you land on the floor and sits you back on the bed.

“I think it would look suspicious if I carried you out of here, can you walk?”

You nod, “yeah.”

Standing again, you're able to succeed, reaching for your underwear, Eren already had it swinging around his index finger, “I’ll hold onto these.”

With no willpower to object, you just pull up your shorts and pick up your shoes.

“Walk her back, Jaeger, don't do anything stupid.”

You and Eren both leave your Captain’s office quietly, the hall empty and empty, you and he slowly walk back, you laughed at the thought about how it would be a tough one to explain why Eren was shirtless and you were- quite obviously- wearing his shirt while he holds your stained shirt in his hand.

With great luck, you and he make it without running into anyone, reaching your door, you and him enter and you shut the door behind him.

“Here’s your shirt.”

He watches you as you throw off his shirt, tossing it to him and opening a drawer, and grabbing one of your own.

Before you realize it.

“Uhm, Eren, I forgot my bra.” Glancing down at your bare chest, Eren shrugs it off and laughs.

“Captain wanted to keep something too, princess.”

[amu-azu]

I just wanna hear your opinion as a fellow amuazu shipper :) since amuazu is my comfort ship and I feel like Rei deserves a sunshine as Azusa in his life to balance out his hasty and dangerous lifestyle and heal his broken and hurt heart …and not forever alone or someone connected to his past etc.

I know ZTT ain’t canon but a setting in a parallel world yet the characteristics are still the same , the parallel world is just mentioned so it won’t overlap with the chronological order of the main main story etc. abut Gosho was the one behind every amuazu content in ztt and closely supervising it lol i mean Gosho‘s Original drafts and corrections at the end of each physical volume are the proof for it. And the biggest shocker was when Gosho wanted the final volume 6 of ZTT to be rearranged and packed it with almost only amuazu content, not to mention the final chapter Lmao literally screams Amuazu doujin lol. So we can be safe in saying Gosho is an amuazu shipper himself, I mean he was the one behind the shopping scene in m22 and even dubbed it as romcom. He brought amuazu to life. Anti’s say every amuazu content is non canon but then we got that Amuro vs. kid chapter in the main canon story where Azusa appeared for the whole case .. and the setting again as romcom .. where not only JK‘s and fan girls noticed Rei and Azusa but this time a well known reoccurring character as Sonoko (who’s always right with her intuitions) teased Azusa if her and Rei are on a date, to which Azusa tried to dismiss as usual to avoid fans getting angry, but Rei told her to not mind .. like what sir ?? So he’s fine if people think he’s dating Azusa ?? Even a main character as Ran supported that suspicion and our little Detective Conan also remarked if a PSB officer has so much free time, not only once. I mean if Poirot is closed then it’s the perfect chance for Rei to take care of BO stuff or PSB work no need to go out of his way and accompany Azusa to the museum, also isn’t it better to keep proper distance and avoid any unnecessary contact to a coworker (if Azusa is really just that to him) while infiltrating a place ? Rei is literally not following the rules lol and I think same as in ZTT when Kazami indicated the same upon noticing how Rei‘s doing unusual stuff with or for Azusa plus even getting along with her bro, if he isn’t doing that subconsciously cuz he enjoys the company of Azusa and her fam, he gets to live a brief moment of a normal life only with Azusa around him. Rei is definitely oblivious or purposely avoiding such thoughts since he always says is to fit into the infiltration place, but always does more than necessary lol. Antis always accuse us as delusional and apply real life logic on DC and amuazu saying a PSB officer won’t ever date a person from a place he infiltrated in .. yeah a PSB officer also won’t risk everything and take illegal measures to receive cooperation of a smart elementary schooler lol they forget everything we got for amuazu to base our assumptions was directly from the creator himself and he never denied the possibility of amuazu lol he even just feeds us with more stuff and is aware of the amuazu ship to mention them alongside the official police couples or during animal crossing game as a hint for the next chapter also during interviews ,SDB or content he himself releases. Not like for Rei‘s other ships where they just have headcanon’s and theories. I respect every ship and their shippers as long as they respect ours as well and mind their own business but these days shippers of ReiShi I don’t wanna generalize but just stating what I experienced, literally force their theories on amuazu Stan’s and stated that Rei is indirectly connected and fated with Shiho due to her mother, that Elena was his first love which was impossible from the get go thus he’s bound to end up with Shiho cuz they are very alike also share similar experiences and he’ll be the only to share stuff about Shiho’s mum to her. Okay and why is it necessary for her to live on ? Also since when does Gosho pair off people who are alike and share same experiences? Never !he always balances out his couples where one had it rough in life or is more closed off/tough and more intelligent and the other is the opposite bright , easy going, cheerful /goofy with no hardship. And the biggest point against them is the huge age gap.

sorry for the wait @angelcherrypie, my pc broke and I had to buy a new one (but I was also broke XD) and I was feeling kinda down.

I'll answer the ask by topics, okay?

let's go!

I agree with you, I think Rei needs someone to balance out his "dark" side. someone that can cheer him up when he is feeling down and I believe Gosho thinks the same. in Super Digest Book 90+ he answered an ask about the type of woman Amuro likes with that: "I think Amuro-san likes intelligent and cheerful women."

2. ZTT, Gosho's stand on the ship and antis

yes ZTT is a spin-off, the events that happen there aren't canon to the main series but as you said Gosho's is directly involved with the manga. the moments amaz got there can't be ignored cause they might reflect their future in the main series.

Gosho seems to like (to tease) the ship, he himself made moments between them, in movie 22, the og manga, the spin-offs, and teases the ship when answering questions about romance in the series.

about antis, I don't care what they say. I've seen too many ship wars to care about them anymore. my approach is completely ignoring their existence and enjoying the things I like.

3. about Rei and Shiho's relationship (and this will be the last time I talk about them):

yes, he's indirectly connected with her because of her mom. he's also connected to Sato, Takagi, Komei, and Chihaya for similar reasons so...

"they are similar/have similar experiences" they can be a little similar but just like you said Gosho likes to balance out the couples.

"he's bound to end up with her because of his "impossible love"~(aka a kid's crush, yep first love but c'mon he was a little kid crushing on an adult married woman, it was a platonic and innocent love) with her mother" that's...kinda weird to me...

"he'll be the only one to talk to her about her mom" isn't Mary her auntie?? the sister of her mother?? and it always comes back to her mom?? damn.

about the age gap, the manga has some couples with an age gap (Yamato x Yui (same gap as amuazu, 6 years), Sonoko's parents I think, and Megure and his wife that I don't have an idea of how much it is, is it over or under 10 years? ), so I think if Gosho wanted them to be together he would do it regardless of the age gap (but he also could've made her age closer to Rei's if it was the plan, they have a gap of 11 years, he made her age closer to Shinichi's and even Higo's and that was a choice).

To end this matter, here's what I think their relationship will be like: the same one she has with Akai. both are indirectly connected to her because she's related to someone dear to them. just like Akai, he'll be one of her protectors.

I hope these answers satisfied you and my advice is to ignore antis, and just enjoy what you like.

[the-bau-quinjet]

Please Don't

Summary: Hotch and Y/N have been pining for each other but everything changes after they go undercover for a case.

Warnings: Criminal Minds level violence, angst

Word Count: 2289

a/n: Thank you for this request!! I love a good Hotch moment. I hope you like it!

Masterlist

"Alright ladies! Here's the first round." Emily smiled as she set the four glasses down in front of you all.

Girl's night had just started. It being Penelope's turn to pick the nights events meant you, Emily, and JJ were in for a long night of bar hopping.

"Yes!!!" Penelope nearly screamed, grabbing her drink and taking a large gulp. "First question of the night goes to Y/N."

Your eyes widened as everyone turned to look at you. Whatever game Penelope was trying to play was clearly not going to go well for you.

"Oh, God. What is it?" You grimaced, eyes flitting between the three of them.

"When are you going to do something about your crush on Hotch?" Emily wasted no time in getting into the hard hitting questions.

"And don't even bother denying it! It's so painfully obvious." JJ added on, eyeing you skeptically.

"First of all, rude. Second of all, fine. I have a hopeless crush on our boss. Are you happy now?" You playfully glared, knowing there was no use in even trying to pretend.

"So? When are you going to do something about it?" Penelope was giddy, always one to celebrate new relationships.

"Uh, never." You deadpanned.

"Why not?" She whined in response.

"Pen, he's my boss for one. Plus it's highly unlikely he feels the same. I mean, how would I even bring that up?" You shook your head, trying to avoid the conversation.

"Y/N, Hotch is totally into you-" Emily's rant was cut off by the sounds of all of your phones buzzing.

You all shared a glance before confirming your suspicions.

"Another girl's night cut short." You shook your head. "Who needs a ride?"

The four of you quickly made your way out of the bar before piling into your car and heading to the Bureau.

-

"Damn ladies, looking good." Derek greeted you when you piled into the elevator together.

You hadn't thought about changing before coming in. None of you were wearing anything wildly inappropriate. Your outfit was just a bit more form fitting than a typical day in the field required.

"Thanks Derek." You rolled your eyes, stepping out of the elevator and immediately heading for the conference room.

Aaron's eyes were on you almost instantly. He always looked for you first when a new case came in.

"You ever gonna tell her?" Rossi asked from next to him.

"I have no idea what your talking about." Hotch kept his face neutral despite knowing there was no real point in denying it to Dave.

"I see the way you look at her. You know, I see the way she looks at you too. you deserve to be happy, Aaron." He replied easily, a smirk on his face as he took a seat in the conference room.

Hotch merely shook his head, trying to supress the smile forming at the idea of you returning his feelings.

He quickly moved on to debrief the team ultimately telling everyone to meet at the jet.

-

Three days later, another couple was dead, and you were no closer to catching the guy.

"Wait, there's a new pattern." Reid jumped up, pointing out the abduction sites on the map. "He's moving south, alternating between 11th and 14th Street. Each abduction happened at a different club on those streets. If he follows pattern the next abduction will be tonight at Cameo." He pointed out the next club on the map.

"So we'll stakeout the club, stop him before he gets another couple." Morgan suggested.

"We can't risk a takedown inside the club." Hotch ran a hand over his face.

"What if two of us go undercover? Pretend to be a couple and then we can stop him when he tries to abduct us." You suggested a new plan.

"That could work." Dave added on, sending you a nod. "You and Hotch fit his victimology."

"What d'ya say, Hotch?" Your heart was beating rapidly, but you refused to let it show. "Wanna go on a date?" You playfully nudged his side.

"It's our best plan." He nodded resolutely. "Go with Emily to get something to wear."

You smiled at him before turning to see a mischievous look on Emily's face. She whispered in your ear as you walked out of the room.

"Get ready. Hotch won't be able to keep his eyes off you tonight."

-

"Are you sure I should wear this?" You pulled the dress down a bit, trying to cover more of your thighs.

"Yes. You look amazing, and this is definitely going to catch the eye of our unsub." JJ complimented as she added a few finishing touches to your hair.

"It's just now dawning on me why we don't do undercover work." You flinched away from Emily as she attempted to add a third layer of mascara.

"Oh, hush. This was your idea. Everything will be fine. Better than fine if you're lucky." She winked, capping the mascara and throwing it back into your makeup bag.

"Em, this is work. I'm absolutely not making a move on Hotch while trying to lure an unsub to abduct us." You deadpanned.

"I'm not saying make a move! This is your opportunity to flirt a little and see how he responds." She shrugged casually.

You were about to provide another rebuttal when a knock sounded on the door to the bathroom.

"Y/N, you almost ready?" Derek called from the other side of the door.

"Coming out now!" You nearly ran out before Emily or JJ could try to convince you to flirt with Hotch again.

"Damn, L/N." Derek smiled when you exited the bathroom. "Looking good. You know who else might think so?"

"Can it, Derek. I'm in no mood." You swiftly walked past him. You could hear Hotch arguing with Rossi about something as you walked up to the conference room door.

"Dave, cool it will you?" Hotch rolled his eyes, not noticing you yet.

"I'm just saying Aaron-" He tried again.

"Well, don't." Hotch's playfulness rarely came out on cases, but you could see a glimpse of it in the way he bantered with Dave.

"Ready to go?" You asked from the doorway, putting your comm's device in your ear. You felt a blush creep up your cheeks at the way Aaron looked at you.

"Ready." He gave you a tight smile, diverting his eyes from your tight dress.

"We'll be right outside. All the exits covered." Dave reminded the two of you, nodding as you walked out the door.

-

"Here you go, one vodka cranberry." He winked when he passed the glass over, a subtle reminder about the lack of alcohol coursing through you.

"Thanks." You shifted awkwardly, unsure of what to do now. You'd been by the bar for about an hour, and nobody suspicious had caught your eye.

"Do you want to dance?" You surprised yourself by asking the question, watching as Hotch's eyes widened slightly. "I just, the other couples? Didn't witnesses say they were dancing?" You whispered the last part, obviously trying to limit anyone overhearing your conversation.

"Right. Of course." He looked nervous, but you chalked it up to not doing undercover often.

You lead him to the middle of the dance floor, trying to find the best view of the doors. It took a few minutes of awkward swaying, but the two of you found your rhythm.

"Behind you, there's a man watching us." Hotch whispered in your ear sending a shiver through your spine.

You nodded slightly in response before turning around. You pressed your back to his chest to cover the movement, eyes flitting around the room to observe anyone suspicious.

It didn't take long for you to spot the man Hotch was talking about. You moved your arms up around his neck, pulling his head closer to you so you could whisper to him.

"Got him. How do we get him outside?" You suppressed the urge to grind your hips against Hotch's. It was hard enough to deal with the feeling of his hands on your hips.

He spun you around, pressing your chests close together. Again, he moved his mouth close to your ear to whisper, "we just need to give him a show."

He pressed his lips to yours lightly, waiting for your response. You kissed him back with passion, relishing in the feeling of his lips moving against yours.

Your breath caught in your throat when he pressed a series of light kisses to your neck. You involuntarily tilted your head to the side, giving him more room to work.

"I think we've got his attention. Let's head out the back door." Hotch grabbed your hand, pulling you behind him toward the back of the club.

The cool night air sent a chill through your body, but you didn't have long before the man burst through the door behind you.

Hotch easily overpowered him, knocking the gun from his hands. He pulled handcuffs from his pocket, quickly securing his hands behind his back.

"Morgan, we got him out back." You spoke into your comms, turning slightly when movement in the shadows caught your eye.

"Y/N, get down!" Hotch jumped in front of you just as you heard a gun being fired. He fell into you, slumping against your body. Everything happened so quickly.

"FBI, drop your weapon!" Morgan yelled, running closer to the man in the shadows.

He quickly handcuffed the partner, leading him to a waiting officer while Emily collected the other unsub.

"Aaron?" You looked at him in your arms noticing the blood soaking through his light blue shirt. "I need a medic!" You called down the alley, watching in terror as two medics removed Aaron from your arms.

You were frozen in place as they put him on a gurney and pushed him into a waiting ambulance.

It wasn't until the ambulance was completely out of sight that you realized Reid was talking to you.

"Y/N? Are you okay?" He gestured to the blood on your dress and hands.

You nodded silently, pointing to where the ambulance just was.

"Let's get you to the hospital okay?" He spoke softly, not wanting to add to your distress. He grabbed a shock blanket from a paramedic before leading you to an SUV. Derek and Emily sat in the front, ready to drive as soon as you got in.

You don't remember the ride to the hospital. You don't remember JJ helping you wash the blood from your hands. You don't remember a nurse updating you on Hotch's surgery. You don't remember anything except the look in Aaron's eyes as he bled out in your arms.

"Aaron Hotchner?" The doctor called out into the waiting room. All six of you stood up, eyes fixed on the woman in scrubs. "His surgery was successful. I can take one of you to see him."

The whole team gestured to you, knowing how you felt and how much you needed to see that he was okay.

"Follow me." The doctor lead you down the winding hallways to a recovery room where Aaron was asleep. "He's still under anesthesia for now. It should wear off in a few hours."

You nodded as she left, still unable to form any words as you took in his pale appearance.

"Aaron." You whispered his name, eyes brimming with tears. You pulled the chair as close as you could next to his bed, both hands wrapped around one of his.

You must've fallen asleep because before you knew it, the hand in your grasp was squeezing you back.

"Aaron?" You lifted your head from the side of his bed, eyes focusing on his. "Oh, thank God." You felt the tears brimming again.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm okay." He murmured softly, moving his free hand to wipe your tears.

"No. You're an idiot who jumped in front of a bullet for me." You whispered back, voice breaking.

"I'd do it again." He took no time to craft his response, only causing more tears to fall down your cheeks.

"Aaron-"

"Y/N, I don't have anyone else in my life quite like you. I haven't in a long time." His eyes never left yours as he spoke. "You make me feel like I could be happy again. Like Jack could have two people to provide him unconditional love everyday in his life again. Like maybe, just maybe, I could love someone again. I would jump in front of countless bullets for you because I can't imagine my life without you in it."

"Please don't." You whispered, eyes still watery.

"What?" Hotch could feel his heart breaking at the thought of you not returning his affection.

"Please don't jump in front of anymore bullets for me. I don't think I could survive this feeling again." You took a deep, shuddering breath. "Watching them wheel you away on that gurney... it felt like my heart was being cut open. Aaron, there's not a day that goes by where you don't make me smile. Even if it's just the thought of you. I can't imagine my life without you either."

He continued to wipe tears from your face as you spoke.

"Would now be a good time to ask you out to dinner?" He smiled when you laughed.

"I think now is a great time for that." You smiled, leaning your head into his hand.

"Perfect. So, will you get dinner with me?" He nearly whispered.

"I'd love to." You pressed a soft kiss to his lips before setting back against your chair.

It didn't take long for him to fall back asleep. This time, when you leaned your head against his leg, your heart felt full.

Permanent taglist:

@averyhotchner

@jesuswasnotawhiteman

@strawberryspence

@sebastnstn

Criminal Minds taglist:

@mac99martin

@goldeng1rl8

@measure-in-pain

[electricbarnes]

tell me you still see me

steve rogers x reader

summary: steve has been working a lot lately. you begin to have doubts about your relationship.

↳ songs i listened to for inspiration 

wc: 5.9k | warnings: some angst, overthinking, self-doubt, implied smut 

note: this is a repost from my old account that was deleted. so if it’s familiar, that’s why! i wasn’t planning on reposting but i read it over and decided why not. i have another steve fic that i’m almost done with, so i wanted to post this in the meantime. i made a few minor edits. i hope you like it! and if you decide to reread it, thank you x1000 !!

You arrive at your apartment, hands filled with groceries for the week. You struggle to open the door with the many bags on your arms, but eventually make it inside. You kick off your heels and set the bags down on the kitchen counter. After freeing your hands, you reach into your purse to find your phone. You unlock it and tap on the first name at the top of your recent calls.

The phone rings for a bit before you hear the sound of your boyfriend’s voice saying “Hello”.

“Oh my god Steve, you’re never gonna believe what I saw at the store just now,” you say, thinking of the wild thing you witnessed during your shopping trip. It’s not everyday that you see someone throw themselves into a cereal box display. It was a hilarious sight and you just wanted to tell someone about it.

“So, I was just strolling through the isles looking for some snacks when a-” you’re cut off before getting too into the story.

“Honey, can this wait? I’m about to go into a mission briefing,” Steve says in a hushed tone. Immediately, you feel guilty for interrupting him while he’s busy. It was well into the evening and you had assumed he wouldn’t be working.  

“Oh, uh yeah of course! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt anything,” you apologize.

“That’s okay,” he reassures you, “I’ll call you later.”

“Okay, talk to you later then.”

The phone beeps, indicating the call was over. You sigh and go back to the task of putting your groceries away.

You decide to lounge around the rest of the day, trading your work clothes for some comfy sweats and a tee shirt. You spend the night mindlessly scrolling through social media while reruns of some sitcom play on the tv. You even send Steve a few memes here and there. You’re not really sure if he’ll understand them but they reminded you of him.

After eating a late dinner, you channel surf for a bit before putting on a random movie. When the movie finishes, it’s nearly 11pm and you realize that Steve hasn’t called you back. You pick up your phone, tempted to call him but decide it’s better to wait till tomorrow. He hasn’t replied to your texts, so there’s a chance he’s still busy despite the late hour.

Unfortunately for you, being a superhero is a full time job, which means that Steve can be busy at any moment of any day. You knew this going into a relationship with thee Captain America. To be fair though, you didn’t think you’d actually get to know the super soldier like you do now.  

When you met Steve, he was just some handsome guy at the park who helped you with directions when you were visibly lost. You ended up seeing him at the park again a couple days later. Recognizing you, he stopped and asked if you wanted to get a coffee. Who were you to deny this man?

You spent two hours in a café getting to know each other before exchanging numbers. In hindsight, his vague answers about his career were a little suspicious. It wasn’t until you went home that night and saw a picture of Steve in a tweet captioned “idc that captain america is like 100 yrs old, he can still get it 😍”.

Needless to say, you were shocked. While you were feeling dumb for not recognizing him sooner, you also wondered why he didn’t say anything. After an awkward confrontation about the subject, he explained how he didn’t want you to go out with him just because he was Captain America. You were quick to ease his worries and reassure him that you were interested in Steve for Steve, not for his heroic persona.

Since then, your relationship with Steve has been nothing but amazing. He was always so sweet with you, taking you on simple but romantic dates. There was something about that 40s charm that was so endearing. You loved the small things, like how he would always open the door for you or how he would bring you flowers on each date. It was so easy to talk to him about anything and everything. You felt like he was not only your boyfriend, but also your best friend.

There were times where you wondered why he ever picked you, an average person compared to the super people he’d work with everyday. He could’ve had anyone he wanted. Steve would say that you were like his sanctuary from the hectic world of being an Avenger. It meant a lot to you that you could be that person for him. You thought he deserved some peace after everything he’s been through. He wanted to protect you from the evil that inherently came with the job, which you understood, so he rarely spoke about the missions he’d go on. The less you knew the better. Though sometimes, you would wish he’d open up more about what was going on while he was away. Especially since he would be gone for days on end.

It was only a month into your relationship that you realized how hard it’d be when he would leave to be Captain America. It was his first time leaving for a mission that lasted longer than a day. He had to spend a week in some place on the other side of the world with no way of contacting him. Of course, you were worried the entire time he was gone. Despite trying to distract yourself with work and personal tasks, Steve was always at the forefront of your mind.

You had never felt such relief than the day he called you after a whole week of silence. Steve had even asked you shyly if he could come over that night. You felt butterflies in your stomach when he told you that he needed to see you. It was the first time he had spent the night at your place. Having Steve’s arms wrapped around you the entire night just felt right. You knew as early as then that you loved him.

Over the year that you had been together, those long missions became easier to manage. You’d always trust that he’d come back to you in one piece. Steve would sometimes feel guilty about being away for so long that he’d try to make it up to you by taking you on an extraordinary date. But you always assured him that you were happy to just be with him, even if it was just something like the two of you watching a movie at your place.

Lately, Steve has been more distant with you. You’ve chalked it up to the fact that there’s a literal distance between you two since he’s moved upstate to the newly built Avengers compound. Before, he was just a short drive away from the Avengers tower to your apartment. Now, he’s hours away from you. There were discussions of you moving in with him, but your job was in the city and you couldn’t leave that behind.

You both decided to make the best of the situation, calling and texting whenever possible. FaceTiming was the usual occurrence throughout the week, often before bed. You’d tell him about your day in the office and he’d tell you about the new recruits he would train. On the weekends, he’d stay over at your place. It was rare that you’d stay at the compound. Steve said he’d preferred your apartment, claiming it was homier than the compound. Plus, you’d actually have some privacy.

For a long time, it had been a good system. You love Steve and did anything to make the relationship work because he’s worth it. Yet, you couldn’t help the lonely nights where you wondered if he felt the same.

Calls were less frequent. Texts were unanswered. Weekend plans were cancelled because Steve would be assigned to missions during those days. You’d understand, of course. He’s out there saving people! You can’t fault him for that, but it doesn’t stop you from missing him.

Now, it had been almost two weeks since you’d last seen him in person. You had texted him throughout the day, but texting wasn’t his favorite thing. Texts were usually reserved for quick check-ins and reminders of I love you’s. He preferred calling and you did too, hearing his voice was much better.

After learning that he had been back from a short mission, you texted him.

You: FaceTime later? ☺️

You were eager to see him, even if it was through a screen. You were just hoping he had the time.

Steve ♡: Sure.

Later that night, you sat on your bed with your laptop, opening up FaceTime. After a few rings, Steve’s face appears on the screen. A smile immediately breaks out on your face.

“Hi babe!” you say cheerily, finally getting to see your boyfriend after what felt like forever.

“Hi honey,” he says with a soft smile.

Your smile dims a bit, eyebrows furrowing when you recognize the background. “Are you still in your office?” It was pretty late and you assumed he’d be in bed by now.

“Yeah, I was finishing up on some mission reports,” he explains, shuffling some papers on his desk.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you’d be done by now,” you apologize, recalling the last time you had interrupted him from his work.

“No, no” he waves his hand, “I thought I’d be done by now too, but it’s a lot more than I expected.”

You frown at the thought of your boyfriend overworking himself. You want to ask him about it, but you know he’ll say what he always does when you ask about his missions: It’s classified.

“You’re not stressing yourself out too much, are you Steve?” you ask, concern evident in your voice. Even through the hazy quality of the webcam, you can see the tired look in his eyes.

“Never,” he says with a smirk.

“Somehow, I don’t believe you,” you say with a teasing tone.

“You’ve got nothing to worry about honey,” he reassures you. “Besides, I wanna know what you’ve been up to.”

You scoff, “well, it’s definitely not nearly exciting as your week must’ve been.”

“I still wanna know,” he says with that boyish grin you love.

Steve always knew how to make those butterflies appear. You end up telling him about the incident you witnessed at the store which makes him laugh as he imagines the odd sight. He tells you about a prank Tony pulled on him and Sam and you beg him to send you the recording of it. He refuses, but you know you’ll get your hands on the footage eventually. Things felt normal again, just talking to him.

“So I was mixing the dough and halfway through I realized I completely forgot about the eggs,” you were in the middle of telling him about the new recipe you ended up ruining earlier this week.

Steve hums in response. You notice him looking to the side, not looking at the screen and you hear the sound of typing.

“and then a blue monster broke into my apartment,” you make up in an attempt to get his attention.

“Mhmm”

“and he stole all the cookies,” you continue.

“Hmm”

“Steve,”

Silence.

“Steve,” you say with a little more force.

“Huh?” he finally looks up at the screen.

“You’re not listening to me,” disappointment laces your voice.

“I was,” he quickly defends but you don’t buy it.

“Uh huh,” you cross your arms and lean back against your headboard. “What was I talking about?”

Steve glances elsewhere, not meeting your eyes when he mumbles “something about a party?”

You resist the urge to roll your eyes. “yeah, like 10 minutes ago.”

“I’m sorry honey, I was listening, really… but these reports need to be done,” he says with an apologetic look on his face.

You couldn’t stay mad at him, but you did feel hurt that he would pretend to listen rather than just telling you something.

“Okay,” you sigh. “I’ll let you get back to work.”

He must notice the disappointment on your face because he apologizes once more.

“I’ll make it up to you honey,” he promises.

“Are you coming this weekend?” you ask hopefully. He couldn’t come last weekend and you were missing him terribly.

“Of course,” he gives you a tired smile that you return.

“Okay, finish those reports and get some sleep,” you instruct, emphasizing the last part.

“Yes ma’am,” he raises his hand, mock saluting you which makes you giggle.

“Goodnight Stevie, I love you,”

“Love you too sweetheart”

The call ends and you go to bed with a smile on your face.

The rest of the week goes by quickly. You’re excited to get to the weekend because that means you can finally see your boyfriend, in person! Not just behind some screen. It’s been almost three weeks since the last time he came over and you miss his touch.

It was Friday afternoon and you were sitting at a small table in the cafe you frequent, taking a lunch break. Halfway through your break, you got a call from Steve. You were a little surprised to see his picture pop up on your phone since you’re usually the one to call him. Nevertheless, you smiled and answered “Hi babe.”

“Hey honey,” he greets.

“I’m glad you called, I was thinking of picking up a few things from the store after work today. Do you need anything?”

“Uh… about that,” he says in a low voice. Your heart immediately sinks, already knowing what he’s going to say next.

“You’re not coming.” A statement, not a question.

“I’m sorry honey. A mission came up and we leave tonight,” he explains and you almost want to laugh. Of course he’s leaving again.

“How long?” you ask. Maybe it’s just for a day and he can still come on Saturday or even Sunday.

“Two days… maybe three,”

You take a moment to process his words. Part of you saw this coming. It seemed too good to be true that you’d finally have him all to yourself. You glance up, trying to fight the sudden feeling of tears in your eyes. You didn’t want to cry in the middle of a busy café.

“There’s… there isn’t a chance you can skip this one?” you hesitantly ask. Normally, you’d just accept it, but your patience was running thin. This is the second time in a row he’s cancelled on you.

“You know I can’t. This is important,” he says it so sternly, like he doesn’t realize he’s breaking your heart. The missions are always important. More important than you.

“Yeah, but you’ve been working nonstop. I mean, don’t you want a break? Aren’t there others who can go instead?” you argue, voice raising.

“Y/N, I’m going. I have to,” he insists, leaving no room for an argument. You knew how stubborn Steve could be, so you knew he wasn’t going to change his mind on this. Rationally, you knew he probably had no choice in the matter but you took a chance anyways.

“Okay,” you relent.

You can hear Steve sigh before saying, “I’ll make it up to you.”

He’s been saying that a lot lately, but you know they’re empty promises.

“Okay.”

“I love you,” he says much softer than his previous tone.

“Love you too,” you say back, but your heart hurts.

Before you met Steve, sleeping alone wasn’t so bad. Some nights you would be on your phone, scrolling through social media till you eventually got sleepy. Other times, you’d lie in bed staring at the ceiling thinking about your day and mentally planning the next. Too often you found yourself overthinking about something you did, something you wish you could change. Or you would be anxious about something coming up, running through different scenarios of how it’d go. For some reason, your mind wouldn’t let you succumb to the sleep that your body desperately needed. But you were used to it.

Then Steve came along and he’d be there to ease your mind. On the nights he would stay over, sleep came much easier. There would still be nights where your mind kept you awake, but Steve would be lying right next to you. You’d be on his chest, his hand soothingly rubbing your back as you told him about that meeting you were nervous about or how you got in trouble by your boss for a simple mistake. Steve would assure that everything would be okay and you found it easy to believe him.

He always knew when you needed a distraction from your worries, bringing up mundane things like last night’s baseball game or telling you about the modern music he actually started to like. Sometimes, he’d tell you a story from his life in the 40s. Stories like how his friend Bucky would drag him all over town, trying to find a date for the evening. Or about that time he had to star in an action movie when he just started out as Captain America (which you made a mental note to find later on Youtube). You loved hearing about Steve’s old life, curious about what made him into the man you love today.

Sometimes he’d just entertain your wild thoughts, especially when you’re half asleep. Conversations like how different life would be if dinosaurs never went extinct or if flat earth conspiracists were right. You’d be lying with your back to his chest, his arms wrapped around your waist while you mumbled any thoughts that came to mind. He’d listen till he heard your soft snores and he’d give you a gentle kiss on your head before he’d fall asleep too.

Then there would be nights where words would rarely be spoken. A night of soft moans as he took care of your body in ways only he knew how. He’d whisper praises, drawing out moans from you as he hit all the right spots. It was always different and exciting. You never knew what to expect, but he would always be so loving. You’d always stay close, basking in the afterglow.  

After having the comfort of Steve in the night, the times he’s not there feel a lot lonelier than before.

Like now, you’ve got your eyes closed but you’re not sleeping. Your thoughts seem louder than ever and they’re all about Steve. It probably doesn’t help that you decided to wear one of his tee shirts to bed, the faint smell of him making you miss him even more. After he cancelled on you (again) this past weekend, you started to wonder if he even wanted to see you at all.

You want to be mad at him, but how can you be? He’s Captain America! He has a responsibility that he can’t ignore, not even for his girlfriend. Lately, you can’t help but be worried at how many missions he’s been going on. To make matters worse, you’re left in the dark about all of it. He says it’s safer if you don’t know. You just have to trust him and trust that he needs to go.  

But what if he doesn’t actually need to? What if he wants to go so he doesn’t have to see you. Okay, that’s extreme, but it’s a possibility? It seems like he doesn’t even want to talk to you at all sometimes. You’re always the one texting and calling. It’s never really him unless it’s to let you down (again). Maybe you’re just being needy. Were you asking for too much? Are you overreacting? Probably. But it’s normal to be upset about not seeing your boyfriend for weeks, right?

You shake your head, trying to get rid of these thoughts. You pick up your phone from the nightstand. The clock reads 3:12am. You unlock your phone and open your messages to see the last few texts Steve sent.

Steve ♡: I’m sorry.

You: just be safe

             —

Steve ♡: I’m back.

You: okay

Your thumb hovers over the call button for a good bit, contemplating if you want to bother him so late at night. Before you can overthink it, you hit the button. You turn to lay on your side with the phone against your ear, anxiously waiting for the ringing to stop.

“Hello,” Steve answers, voice deep and filled with sleep. You feel guilty for waking him up, but at the same time feel relief at the sound of his voice.

“Hi,” you say shyly. Honestly, you weren’t expecting him to actually pick up. You were prepared to just leave a voicemail.

“Is something wrong?” he mumbles.

“No, no. There’s nothing wrong… I just…” you can feel the heat rising in your face, suddenly embarrassed for some reason. “I just miss you,” you say quietly, not even sure if he’s heard you.

You can hear the shuffling of sheets.

“I miss you too sweetheart,” he says and it warms your heart for a moment, “and as much as I wanna talk right now, I have to be up in a couple hours for a mission.”

“Oh,” the small smile you had on your face quickly disappears. You had no idea he was leaving again even though he just got back the day before.

“I’ll call you tomorrow, okay hon?” he says tiredly.

You feel a lump in your throat forming but you push past it, “yeah… yeah, of course.”

“Love you,”

“Love you too,” you practically whisper.

The phone call ends and the tears start to slide down your face. You didn’t have the energy to fight them anymore.

The last call you had with Steve a few days ago left you torn between logic and your emotions. You knew he was just tired, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that something had changed between you two. In the past, he never seemed to mind talking to you, even in the odd hours of the morning. You always believed that you guys were so in sync. It seemed like he knew when you needed comfort and would be there to provide it.

You would be able to tell when something was off with Steve and though you would always offer to talk about it, he would brush it off. Thinking back to it, maybe he never really opened up to you for a reason.

You began to question if you are more invested in this relationship than he is. It feels wrong to even think so, considering how sweet and caring he is, especially with you. But everyone has their limits, right? Maybe he’s just gotten tired of you. It’s clear that work is his number one priority right now, maybe he doesn’t have time for a girlfriend anymore. He always makes promises of making it up to you another time, but maybe there will never be another time.

The thought of him leaving completely sends a pang of hurt to your heart.

You: can we talk?

You had sent Steve that text what felt like forever ago, but in reality has only been 20 minutes. You had spent that time repeating in your head what you were going to tell him while you paced back and forth around your living room. You were going to ask for a break. You didn’t want to break up with him completely, no, but you thought that this would be better in the long run. You’re hoping a break will give him the space he needs and then you guys can go back to the way you were. You figured it was better to let him focus on being a hero. You didn’t want to become the clingy girlfriend that he’d eventually resent.

You had no idea how he would react. Maybe he would agree. It’ll be tough, but every couple goes through something like this, right? Sure, it’s a special circumstance with you dating an Avenger, but other people have busy partners. You wonder how they manage a relationship when they don’t see each other so often. Maybe you were giving up too easily? But you’re tired of feeling pushed aside, like you aren’t his priority when he’s at the top of your list. You’re tired of feeling guilty for being upset when he can’t come see you. You’re just tired of feeling like you’re losing him.

Just as you start to doubt your whole plan, your ringtone breaks the silence. You pick up your phone with a shaky hand and tap on the answer button.

“Hello,” you say, hoping he doesn’t notice the nervous tone of your voice.

“Hey honey, you wanted to talk?”

“Uh, yeah…” you reply, already struggling to keep your voice even.

“Is everything alright?” he’s concerned and you can imagine the look on his face.

“Yeah…yeah,” you lie, “I uh… I just wanted to talk… about us.”

“Listen honey, I’m sorry about last week but it was really-“ he begins to apologize, but you shake your head, not wanting to hear another excuse.

“It’s more than that Steve,” you interrupt.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” you hesitate, trying to gather your thoughts. “Do you realize it’s almost been a month since we’ve last seen each other?”

There’s a pause before he answers, “…I didn’t know it had been so long.”

“Do you even care?” you ask, voice giving in to the mix of anger and sadness you feel. The tears begin to well up in your eyes.

“Of course I care, you know I do” he defends.

“Do I though?” you question. The rehearsed words you mentally prepared are long gone. “…I’ve been sitting here thinking of what I’m doing wrong because I feel like something’s changed between us.”

“What are you talking about?” he sounds genuinely confused, “Nothing’s changed.”

“Steve… we don’t talk like we used to, I barely get to see you. I miss you all the time.”

“I know I’ve been working a lot lately,“ he acknowledges.

“And I don’t blame you for that,” you clarify.

“I know how important your job is, but… but I’m feeling a little left out here,” your voice cracks at the end. You wipe the few tears that started to fall down your face. “I mean, I feel like I barely know that part of your life. You’re gone most of the time and you never talk to me about it.”

“I can’t, for your safety. We’ve discussed that.”

“Yeah and I thought I could handle it, but you’re giving me nothing here,” you argue. “I wanna be there for you Steve, but it’s hard when you don’t tell me what’s going on.”

“I... I can’t. I want to but it’s better if you don’t know,” he says pleadingly. You want to believe him, but you just can’t seem to let this go.

The silence lingers over the phone.

“Maybe we should take a break,” you eventually say with defeat.

“A break?”

“Maybe we just need some time to sort things out. You can focus on your work and when things get better… we can try again.”

“No, no…” he starts to argue, “that’s not fair.”

“Steve, please…” you beg, “just try to see where I’m coming from. I still love you, I always will. I just think we need this.”

He doesn’t say a word, making you anxious.

“Steve-”

You’re cut off by the phone hanging up. You sit in disbelief, letting the weight of the conversation fall on you.

You spent the rest of the night just curled up on the couch. You keep questioning your decision. In your mind, this was the right thing to do, despite the heartbreak you knew you’d be feeling. But you didn’t think it would hurt as much as it does now.

Steve’s reaction made you rethink the idea of a break. You worry that he thinks you don’t love him anymore when it’s the complete opposite. You did this because you love him. You didn’t want to lose him completely, but it looks like you lost him anyways. Maybe, deep down, a part of you was trying to save yourself from the inevitable heartbreak.

The living room was dark, the only light coming from the street lights outside. The tears have stopped flowing, but the headache lingers. It’s almost 2 in the morning and despite being worn out from crying, you have trouble sleeping. You’re about to get up for a glass of water when you hear a knock on your door.

Your first reaction is to panic, because you weren’t expecting anyone at such a late hour. You mentally run through the self defense moves Steve insisted on teaching you. Slowly, you approach the door, trying to not make any noise.

Knock knock knock.

“It’s me.”

It’s softly spoken, but you hear him loud and clear. You quickly open the door to reveal Steve with a look of sorrow on his face. You can’t help but stare at him in shock, taking in his disheveled appearance.

“I don’t want a break,” he says hoarsely, breaking you out of your trace.

You all but pounce toward him and wrap your arms around his neck. He immediately wraps his arms tightly around your waist. You bury your face in his neck, inhaling the familiar scent that reminds you of home. Despite everything that happened over the phone, you feel a flood of relief from finally being in his arms.

You stood in his embrace, relishing the feeling of him being there for a good minute before you pulled away. You meet his eyes, noticing the tears surrounding them and it hurts your heart.

“We should talk,” you say, voice rough from the crying just hours ago.

You’re sitting side by side on your couch. You look at him and can’t believe that he drove all the way to your place in the middle of the night. You can see the worry on his face and you want nothing more than to comfort him, but you hold back because you want an explanation first.

“So..” you start off, “you don’t want a break?”

“Y/N, I know I’ve messed up, but please don’t give up on us,” he says with pleading eyes.

“I don’t want to. I thought that’s what you would’ve wanted. I thought…” you shy away from his stare, “maybe you didn’t want me anymore.”

Steve looks at you with guilt, realizing for the first time how much he’s hurt you, “I’m sorry… I know I’ve been saying that a lot lately but I never wanted you to feel like I didn’t want to be with you.”

“Then what's been going on?” you ask, looking back at him, determined to know why it took you asking for a break to get him here.

Steve looks down at his hands, visibly nervous. Why? You have no idea.

“Talk to me Steve,” you encourage him. “Please.”

He turns to look at you, taking a breath before saying “I’ve been looking for Bucky.”

You’re immediately confused. Out of all the things you thought of him saying, this was never one of them.

“Bucky? Bucky Barnes?” you question. You knew of his friend from the stories he would tell you. Bucky was practically a brother to Steve.

“Yes,” he says easily, but it just makes you more confused. The thought of Steve going crazy briefly crosses your mind.

“He’s the Winter Soldier,” he explains. You recognize that name from the news. He was a part of the incident that happened in DC.

“What? H-How would that even be possible?” you question, not really being able to wrap your head around it. From what you knew, Bucky died in war back in the 40s.

“HYDRA was using him. They found him after he fell from the train and they brainwashed him for decades until I was able to snap him out of it when we fought in DC,” Steve continues, “After he saved my life, he disappeared.”

The pain in his voice is evident as he talks about his friend. You scoot closer to him and you take his hand into yours, offering him comfort.

“Sam and I have been following any lead we could to find him,” he explains, “I’ve been doing that along with all the other missions I get sent on. That’s why I’ve been gone so much.”  

It finally makes sense to you.

“Oh Steve,” you say, “I wish you would’ve told me this sooner.”

“I know honey, I should have…” he squeezes your hand, which you reciprocate.

“HYDRA is evil. I’ve seen how cruel they can be,” he continues. “The thought of them coming anywhere near you kills me,” his voice filled with emotion and his eyes gloss over with tears. “Sometimes it’s hard for me to get out of that headspace…”

He looks away from you, head down, “you shouldn’t have to deal with that.”

You reach over with your free hand to touch his face. “Steve,” you turn his head to look at you. His blue eyes shine even in the dim lighting. “Please don’t shut me out. I want to know these things. You don’t have to tell me everything, but I just want to be there for you. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone.”

Your eyes beg him to understand you. “And I get it now. Bucky is your friend and I know you’ll find him again someday. Just don’t put all that stress on yourself,” your thumb wipes away a stray tear falling down his face. “I want to help you in any way I can. You can always come back to me.”

He subtly nods and looks at you, faces only a breath apart. “I don’t deserve you,” he says quietly, like he’s in disbelief.

He closes the distance, lips finally meeting yours. Your eyes flutter shut, as you continue to cradle his face in your palms. You focus on conveying all your love for him into the kiss. You pull away briefly to move on to his lap as he leans back into the couch. His hands naturally fall on your hips as you get impossibly close.

You break the kiss again, “Promise not to leave me again,” you plead, but your tone is much lighter this time. You never wanted to leave his arms again.

He looks up at you, eyebrows furrowing a bit, “I can’t promise that,” you give him a sad smile, already knowing that. His hand leaves your hip to push a stray hair behind your ear, “but I can promise that I will talk to you more and show you how much you mean to me more often. ”

You genuinely smile at that.

“This is important to me,” he says, pulling you closer, emphasizing his words, “you’re important to me.”

“I love you”

“I love you too,”

You lean back in to kiss him again, smiling in between because you’re happy to have your Steve back. And you know things will get better from here. There’s still going to be some tough nights when you miss him and he can’t be there, but you know he’ll be missing you just as much. You won’t have to doubt his love for you again.

You pull away once more, “Remember how you said, you’d make it up to me?” you question with a mischievous look in your eye.

“Yeah,” he says looking at you expectantly.

You simply raise your eyebrows and smirk at him. He catches on and mouths an “oh”.

You’re lifted from the couch so you latch onto Steve’s shoulders, giggling loudly at the sudden movement. He carries you into your bedroom, where he definitely made up for lost time.

You slept much easier that night.

hope you enjoyed reading! 🤍 reblogs and feedback are much appreciated!! let me know if you liked it :) 

[nextdoor-neighbors]

What Friends Are For

Link to Part Two!

Request: Hi! Idk if you’re taking requests but I got this idea and it won’t leave my head lol: reader is best friends with the twins and/or closest to George (like platonic soulmates) and wants to lose their virginity so George is basically like “yeah sure I can help you out, what are friends for?”

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Smut, language

A/N: Sorry I’ve been gone for a bit guys, but here’s this, I hope you all enjoy! It’s been a while since I’ve written a George one!

You were the last virgin in your friend group.

You hadn’t told anyone, mostly because you were slightly embarrassed. So, your friends were just under the impression that you’d hooked up with someone one night and lost your virginity, but wouldn’t tell them who.

It’s not that you didn’t want to have sex. You did. It was just the matter of finding someone to have sex with that was difficult.

But one night, the pieces finally come together, as you sit with your best friend, George Weasley, in his dorm. The rest of his roommates and your friends are out, but Merlin knows where. You guess that Angelina and Fred are probably off hooking up somewhere, because when Fred wasn’t with you and George, he was always with her. Not that it bothered you; you’ve always enjoyed alone time with George. The two of you had always been closer than you and Fred, because George always seemed to understand you better. You’re convinced that he knows you better than you know yourself.

Now, you lay on his bed with him as he reads to you (an activity that you always kept from Fred, knowing he’d tease you endlessly about it), but your mind is elsewhere. You’re more focused on how close you are to him in this tiny bed, how your arms are pressed together, and how you can feel his body heat.

An idea pops into your head, and the second it’s there, you know it’s not going to leave.

“George,” you say, abruptly.

He stops reading and glances over at you.

“Yeah?”

“I wanna lose my virginity.”

You prop yourself up on your elbow so you can turn to look at George better. A look of confusion crosses his face, his eyebrows furrowing.

“You said you already-”

“I lied,” you admit, “because I was embarrassed that I was the only one in our friend group that hasn’t had sex yet. And since you guys talk it up so much, I just... I don’t know.”

George sets the book on his nightstand and turns his body to face yours. There was no denying how attractive he is, and plus, he’s probably the person you trust most in the world. What better person to get some experience from?

“You didn't have to lie, Y/N,” George says softly, “we wouldn’t have judged you because of it, or anything, if that’s what you were worried about.”

He reaches out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, which, any other time, you wouldn’t think twice about. But now - with these thoughts of losing your virginity to George on your mind - the simple gesture takes your full attention.

“I want to, though. Lose my virginity. And-” you continue, knowing George, “not just to fit in, or whatever you’re thinking. Because I want to experience it.”

George pulls his lower lip in with his teeth, and you know him well enough to know that he does that when he's thinking about something.

“I mean...”

You wait for him to continue, not wanting to jump the gun, but you somehow just know that the two of you are thinking the same thing. You usually are, after all.

“I could...I could help you out?”

You can’t help but smile nervously. “Are you sure?”

George returns your smile, looking much more at ease than you feel. “Yeah, what are friends for?”

You laugh, but it’s quickly cut off by George pressing his lips against yours. You make a soft noise of pleasure against his mouth as you scoot closer to him, wrapping the arm that’s not propping you up around his neck and sliding your fingers into his hair. His hand finds your waist and grips it tightly, his fingers digging into your skin.

He half rolls so that he’s on top of you, pressing his body down against yours so that you can feel practically every inch of him.

His mouth leaves yours, kissing and sucking alone your jawline and neck. You tilt your head back to give him better access, pleasure flooding your body. You feel yourself growing more wet by the second as his tongue traces your collarbone and his hands slide under and up your shirt.

George pulls away, sitting up, and you worry that something’s wrong until he says,

“Take your shirt off.”

You immediately listen to his command, removing your shirt as he does the same. You take a moment to look at his toned chest, the freckles spattered over his pale skin. He gazes at you in return, eyes searching your body before he makes eye contact with you again.

“If at any point you want to stop, Y/N-”

You shake your head. “I want this, George.”

A small smirk forms on his lips as he moves his attention to your lower half, pulling at your skirt. He tosses it aside, leaving you in your bra and underwear. He drags his fingers down your stomach and along the hem of your panties teasingly.

“George,” you whimper, bucking your hips up towards his hand.

“What?” he says, innocently, that smirk still on his face as his hand finally slips under your panties, his fingers teasing your entrance.

You let out a moan as he pushes a finger inside of you.

“You’re so wet already,” he murmurs, his other hand coming to rest on your thigh, gripping it tightly as he begins pumping his finger in and out of you.

“Fuck,” you say, tilting your head back at the pleasure, but George’s hand leaves your thigh and wraps around your neck.

“Look at me,” George demands, adding another finger, so you do exactly that, meeting his eyes. Between the eye contact, his hand around your neck, and his long fingers curling inside of you, the pleasure is almost too much to handle, building inside of you and spreading down your legs.

Much to your disappointment, George takes his fingers out of you and lets go of your neck. He begins to get off the bed, undoing his belt. Your eyes are glued to his bulge straining against his pants, because you can already tell that he's big, which is confirmed once he pulls down his pants and boxers in one move, his erection springing free.

“You’re so big,” you say, and you can’t help but wonder how you’re going to take him.

He grins, joining you back on the bed and straddling your legs, pulling your panties down and tossing those to side, just as he did with your skirt.

“I’ll be gentle. If it hurts, let me know, and I’ll stop, okay?” George says, guiding your legs, pushing them up so that your knees are up and your feet are planted firmly on the bed. He pushes your thighs apart, looking you over a few times.

“You’re gorgeous, Y/N. Absolutely stunning. I say that in the most friendly way possibly, by the way.” He winks at you as he positions himself at your entrance.

You can’t help but giggle. “Right. Of course.”

He leans down to kiss you, hard and passionate, before beginning to push himself inside of you. You gasp at the sensation, at how big he is, and how he fills up every inch of you. It definitely hurts, due to his size, but you don’t want him to stop.

“Fuuuck, Y/N,” he groans, “you’re so tight.”

He pauses, once he’s mostly inside of you, letting you adjust to him.

“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice quiet and strained.

“Yeah, George, keep going.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice. He starts slow, trying to be as gentle as possible as you get used to him, but quickly begins increasing speed. He lets out groans and grunts as he thrusts into you, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You clutch at him, digging your nails in his back.

“Fuck, George-”

“You feel so good, Y/N-”

You feel yourself edging closer and closer to orgasm, and judging by George’s less controlled thrusts, you guess that he is, too.

“I’m close, George,” you whimper.

“So am I,” he breathes, “Cum for me, princess.”

After a few more thrusts, you release, the pleasure shooting through your body. You let out a loud moan, and George finishes shortly after, inside of you, groaning into your skin.

He pulls out of you, slowly, and grins at you as he looks you over, his chest rising and falling quickly.

“What do you think?”

You smile back, propping yourself up on your elbows to look at him. He looks gorgeous like this: flushed, hair messy.

“Are you asking for a post-sex rating, Weasley?”

He laughs, pushing himself off the bed to grab his shirt off the floor, which he tosses at you. You don’t hesitate to put it on, laying back down after you do so.

“Yes, Y/L/N, I am. If you have any critiques, I’ll gladly hear those, too. Anything to improve my game.” He winks at you before grabbing his pants and pulling them back up.

You laugh. If you were being honest with yourself, you wouldn’t mind doing that again, with George. After all, it’s just a friend helping out another friend.

Right?